Week 11: The sweet sprint spot

Post 388

Away on a long weekend (with the bike of course!) I scored a berth in Ballarat's Myer bunch on Saturday, a change to the habitual Couldabeens crank.  23 fronted at 6:30 (larger than usual I'm told) to exit town, a bit out of my comfort zone being in the dark on route, speed, protocols and distance, but there's nothing like a challenge eh?

Unaccustomed as I am to the ups and downs of rolling hills, I found myself coping rather well, surprisingly not the asthmatic wreck blown out the back of the bunch, but plugging away midfield (in the big dog of course) en route to Wattle Flat.  The large proportion of young blood was a little intimidating but at least they were respectful to the elderly, spearing through the dark on a thin strip of tarmac snaking uphill and down dale through the heavily treed Glen Park, passing rustic ruins (worth revisiting in daylight).
A long downhill to the Creswick-Dean Rd maxed the Garmin at 59 clicks, but with every downhill lurks a payback.....the toil of the climb uphill.  Ascending through a ferny forrest as the sun crept to the horizon made pleasant scenery to distract from the hurt, the front runners kindly pausing at Dean for the stragglers to rejoin before tackling the Dean-Newlyn Rd. 

Potatoes prospered in the dark red soil, the sun peeking above the hills to guide us onto Long Swamp Rd to Rocklyn, then a left onto Blampied-Mollonghip Rd taking us up to the Midland Highway.  The keen tapped toward Clunes as I joined Rob, Graham, Col and Ross taking the short route (80k) back along the ribbon roads of undulating countryside via Allendale, Ascot and BaldHills.  A long straight stretch on Gillies Rd took us toward Ballarat, joined in the last 10k by the Yabbie Divers (Ben, Nick, Darren, Brendan, Kanga, Shane, Josh, Nick and Haggis) with the customary sprint for town lines.  

I was welcomed to join the crew for post ride socialism at cafe Lekker, Strava analysis, sledging and tall stories the stuff of all bunch babble, coffee and shared plates of toasties de rigeur with this lot. 

 

13/3

Another morning of mystery on foreign soil Monday, a solo spin from Creswick at 6, northwest out of town on an unknown climb (judged only by the reach of the CatEye's lumens), certainly a heart starter for this flatlander climbing 280 metres to Springmount in the first 5 k.  

I had a new appreciation for the almost level ground to Spring Hill, the half light at 6:30 showed low misty cloud capping the hills surrounding Kingston, a long gradual decline pumping up the speed and the ego with plenty of rabbits darting about in the dark.  A sharp left onto W Berry Rd, the rises and falls towards Clunes picked up a light mist nearing Allendale while trying to keep my bearings southbound on the thin track of Creswick-Lawrence Rd past Broomfield.  A swing onto Gillies Rd put me back on familiar (Saturday) territory, the long southbound stretch beside Mt Hollowback to Bald Hills and beyond, still with a few ups and downs to lift the effort, my usual focus on average speed forgotten in lieu of cresting the rises.  I veered left through Sulky and along another ribbon of tarmac to the Midland highway, then north with the pleasure of a tailwind but the work of an uphill back to Creswick to earn my breakfast. With the respiratories rapid on the rise, the pong of roadkill didn't help, but a brew reaching Creswick's 'Bean & Barrow' topped off 50k nicely. 

14/3

It was a pleasure to be back on the homeland flatlands Tuesday, a calculated cruise to the carpark (to avoid the first shift) but there was only Jase, Cougar, HBK and AvantiTrev tempted to Turtle tap.  Single file was the unspoken and understood formation, Jase doing the honours of the first leg.  I had the short half draft of AvantiTrev till my turn from Orrvale Rd to the Kinder.  HBK did a double shift to the S bends, kick starting a long drive habit for all (but a wary eye on Cougar keeping hold of the caboose).  AvantiTrev ground out Boundary Rd on the front, I was spurred on to do the first half of River Rd to the dip while HBK tackled part two. (must be some sort of weird male measuring mindset, sizing up your competition?)  Cougar bailed out via Archer Rd but four fought on, calculating the turns to Conrod, I reckoned a long drive to Galbraiths gate might put me in the perfect pozzie.  HBK took us to Conrod's kink, Jase shouldered the load for 500 metres to give me the last 400 and the honours. 

15/3

Finding a flat just minutes from launch time puts haste to the forefront, but a wriggle on got me back on agenda to grid with Grumpy, Shorty, Kenworth, Mel, AvantiTrev, Troy, Pelly, BamBam, Cate, Wozz, Pistol, Temple, Trav, Nev, Weapon, Ralphy, Kel and Bo for Wednesday's whip around. A northeaster told me to get a turn in early to avoid the headwind, but many had the same idea filling the up line.  HurtLocker was trimmed to a trio at Central Kialla, Cats were late on the River Rd westward procession, a new course and start (Old Dookie Rd roadworks) put them down the list.  The Goat PainTrain progress was pacy, prevailing winds and the whiff of catching Cats had their hammer down.  I'd fluked the preferred position of AvantiTrev ahead and Mel behind to limit my tempo tax, many others shortening their turn feeling the breeze on the brow.  All my stars were aligning in Channel Rd, the breeze behind, bludging at the back with just a k till the ChaCha and in Kenworth's tow couldn't be better. Sentences stopped, heads lowered and heart rates heightened in a cadenza of cranking to the Kinder, Kel and Bo delivered us to Prentice Rd for Kenworth to turn up the torque, my dream sit to the 200 metre mark was just textbook.  Out of the copious Kenworth current, I throttled the thighs and crucified the cranks to take a rare win, though Pistol made it hard labour nipping at my wheel in the dying metres.

16/3

Missing the motivation to tap an early lap Thursday, I succumbed to the sloth of a salubrious sleep-in till 5:15, then a slow paced preparation to join the group 'o Goats (Belly, PrincipalSkinner, Dipper, Phil, Heady, Sooty, Bickers, Sandy, Spiessy, HG, Hommy, HBK, Joe, Temple, Tina and many-months-missing-much Comet!)   A straggling start split the herd into 3 as I had a bit of effort dragging some dawdlers back to the bunch in Old Dookie Rd, but some semblance of order resulted in the rotations.  Much Goat gloating amongst the PainTrainers from Wednesday's Cat attack, Sandy was speedoless, Heady extolling the virtues of self flagellation (training PainTrainless), Bickers had engaged his cloaking device and HG's huge hangback hindering anybody behind. A balmy 22 degrees in Boundary and a tailwind propelled the pack south, the weight of responsibility resting on me to call the highway intersection traffic.  It's nice to work with the echelon educated, the northeaster attacking the starboard bow had us fanned across River Rd with Belly driving to the 40's, poor Comet caught behind HG's hangback deserved my delay to draft a delicious damsel in distress. Eventually back into the formation, I was soon promoted forward, Sooty and I captaining the crew from the bridge to Rivers' end. Alas, time to take my leave and battle the headwind home, back to setting speed standards (31+) on level ground.

17/3

 

A stiff southerly (24-37 km/h) sorted the die hards from the bed warmers on Friday, I was ready for a lie down after just 5k's of headwind hell getting to the carpark! Bruce, Wozz, Boof, Troy, Rocket, Pistol, Nick, Kenworth, Chops, Cate, Kel, Bo, Nev and Cats Col and Avanti-not-MeridaJohn assembled for action at 6, Chops bearing the brunt of the breeze to take the bunch south on leg one.  Only the brawn and the brave formed the up-line into the brow-beater, Rocket and Pistol driving unperturbed and unabated to Mitchell Rd.  Col and Avanti-not-MeridaJohn were along on a respite from the catty felines, the social sentence swapping getting well underway with the wind at our side in Mitchell Rd. Despite the wind whipping at our wheels, it got easier closer to the front in River Rd, almost a calming crank beside Bruce beyond the dip in the right lane,  though it's not nice to be greedy so I shared the workload around.  Cobbles and The Godfather turned into River Rd as we exited it, the usual shy retiring vehement sledge delivered in his unmistakeable tone, they were well clear of a thin line of late Cats slogging south on Boundary, but not a Goat in sight.   We caught and absorbed Manny and Carl into our pack at the Broken Bridges, spitting chips at being left PainTrain-less from a mass abandonment (concrete needed in the Goat feed trough?)  Dissecting the orchards and vegetable plots along Channel Rd's 8k length gets the troops excited for the thrash of the ChaCha, though the Cats were possibly in the dark on its location (they know now!).  I was almost in the sweet sprint spot like Wednesday, except Rocket, Manny and their swift associates swept by, five gasps beyond Prentice Rd.  Ah, reality deals a savage blow!

Week 11:   278km                 YTD 2,739km

Week 10 : a peloton prostitute?

Post 387

4/3

Perfect conditions for another Saturday population explosion ; windless, a mild 16 degrees and a weekend ahead had Wozz, Car+Mel, Cate and I expecting a carpark cram (or can't people resist the Couldabeens awesomeness and modesty?).   5 Cats (MeridaJohn, Clive, Dalts, Huggie and LegalSteve) had arrived early (for a tow to the Cat pack?), Len and MeridaAndy were along for a few early k's but the party faithful (Shorty, Nick, TatPaul, Popgun, Tina, Boof, Bruce, Leah, Tum, Cougar,TrackStan, Pistol, Rocket, Temple, TrekTrev, Jen, Avantiatrev, Trav, Kel, TrekSam and the Godfather) squeezed in.  

There was a forced separation again (in the hope of getting at least one turn at the front and to clear course congestion), bunch one (19) and two (14) launched a few minutes apart.  I'd been put into bunch one again (Shorty, Nick, TatPaul, Wozz, Cate, Tina, Car+Mel, Popgun, MeridaJohn, Clive, Dalts, Huggie, Bruce, Leah and Tum) collecting early lappers BamBam, Ralphy and Jase as we approached the Kinder.  The Cats rolled through to donate to the drive, a birdie tells me they've been cooked in recent rides (Couldabeens calmer?)  Leah's back with a gritty resolve, KillkennyPaul found solo in Boundary Rd, TatPaul seems to be running on 5 cylinders while Boof was running at half throttle to save speed for a swim.

 Deja vu from last week as Wozz and I drove the last leg of Ford Rd, a little bitty breather before the fast finish in Wanganui Rd.  Peak hour in Numurkah Rd, a minute motionless waiting for traffic to clear had bunch 2 park at our tail, a massed and messy finish not on my menu. A break in the traffic let 10 through, all systems go to spare a sprint swamping.

With a line of Indians behind, Wozz worked the wattage to DECA, Shorty followed up fast while I felt like a freeloader, time for my turn at the test track.  Enthusiasm drove me a bit hard leaving a gap behind, no way I'd last 700 metres at this rate.  I was soon swamped by Wozz, Tina and Mel, one last lunge at the hill (Wozz riding off into the distance) to pick up a place was dashed withTrackStan, The Godfather and MeridaAndy pouncing from bunch two to pick up the crumbs on the line.   Foss vs Hommy, Chinese lycrap, social media and reality televisions erosion of morals enveloped the ever lengthening Lemontree breakfast table for post ride postulation. 

6/3
I was on a peace keeping mission Monday, a Hommy harmony if you will after last weeks high jinks. ApprenticePete, Principal Skinner, Spiessy, Cate, Spartacus, Cindy, Phil, AvantiLeigh, Sandy, Hommy, Tina, AvantiAndy, Jen, Brendy, Belly and Vince filtered into Friars for a frangible foray to start the week. Twas a cruisy crank east on Old Dookie Rd in a smooth sandwich between Tina and Jen, Hommy at one end of the bunch and me at the other (keeps the troops calm).  The even more peaceful tame tappers were caught at the Pub, Mr.Magnet, Simon and Doc amongst the few.  So why would some mix with the Goat group when a Channel Rd exit was planned just a few hundred metres later? 

Panic, brakes and near misses in the melee later, all emerged upright and unscathed from the calamity, a WTF moment way too early in the week for me. Back in the comfort zone of rotating with familiar folk on River Rd, Coggo catching us from a late start chase, Roscoe joining in from a lazy start from the west, Vince gently back on the bike post leg surgery, but the social stimuli soon ended, time for my exit via the truck route and Archer Rd home. With a hint of daylight breaking, there was  just the lengthy slalom through town avoiding the debris in the never-maintained bike lane.

7/3
ScottMat was flatflustered berthing at the Tuesday Turtle grid, a puncture on the new rig two minutes before launch time put pressure on his pitstop.  A CO2 seal blow-out then a short-valve-in-a-deep-rim dilemma entertained us, but was finally fixed and underway, four minutes closer to the jaws of the Hares behind.  Jase, Shorty, Nick, Cougar, HBK, TrekTrev, and AvantiTrev made up a Turtle ninesome, ScottMat and I driving leg one, HBK turning up the wick beside me for leg two to Orrvale Rd (but surprisingly stayingly level with my wheel. Well, I never!) Jase and Shorty took the reigns to the cypress trees, passing a pair of Hares preparing to catch the 5:50 express. A light southerly (7-9 km/h) made its presence felt in Boundary Rd, pushing the limits for 1200 metres beside ScottMat was a workout, but the niggling natter at the back from non-contributors rattled my cage, so harder on the gas in River Rd to silence the superfluous sentences.  We'd almost reached River's dip when a dozen Hares line astern powered past. ScottMat and I took on the headwind yet again in Central Kialla, but Jase was next to roll up, HBK now in hiding (hurting).   Down to the highway and building speed for Raftery Rd the luck of the draw looked like it was work for me in Conrod straight.  Nick dialled up the tempo at the last kink as Conrod opens its length, Shorty tucked in and I'd hoped to get a share of the draft but was locked out of the left line.  Nothing for it but to light the afterburners early and see what evolved. I hit the front out of the first dip carrying a fair speed but slicing the virgin air emptied the tank quickly, 500 metres later Jase and Shorty pounced from my draft for the one two, my glance back finding a lot of real estate to the remaining half dozen.

8/3

All stops out exiting town Wednesday, a tailwind had Pistol and Rocket excited but a few were in difficulty holding onto the tail. BamBam, Wozz, Nev, Boof, Trav, Weapon, Kenworth, Grumpy, Ralphy, Mel, Kel, Bo, Shorty, AvantiTrev, ScottMat, Cate, Bruce and Nick made up a long tail behind, Bruce bolting to the front to police the pace.  All were collected into the fold, I made my way to the up line finding myself the follow up to Boof and the windbreak for BamBam, guessing where I'd hit the front and preparing mentally for the masochism....of course, the hurt of a headwind in River Rd!  Boof was gracious allowing me a slightly shorter shift, delighted when BamBam requested the same abbreviation (he was fresh from a FDC flogging), it was a delight in the draft to de-stress and deliberate.  Shorty was the cat from Cheshire in Channel Rd, finally free from the Kinder curse sitting midfield in the left line at the cypress trees, Mel and Cate exempt from the early ChaCha effort too.  It was my turn for torture swinging left at the Kinder with Boof, I pulled the whip out to Hopeful corner to get around him and, feeling fairly fit flogging the fourteen at fourty five, thought "let's workover the wannawins to make 'em worthy".   There was an eternity to Prentice Rd till Grumpy came up and over, the kick to catch his wheel wasn't necessary, he too had been FDC fried afore.  Waiting respectfully for a gap in the up line was fruitless, the whole bunch sailing by with the finish line within sniffing distance.  Chat chat on Channel to town, a turn toward home but it was kaboom for Kenworth blowing out a sidewall on a stone.  That trusty 50 x 25mm strip of canvas in my kit came to the fix fore, but boom again a half k later on the next sharp bump. 

9/3

I don't know what fires the urge to push the solo tempo, but Thursday's want for an early slog to the Emu, the Toaster, then back to town wrestled with complaints from the departments of legs, lungs, heart and head.  The man with a hammer loomed close with an ESE'er pestering progress to the Emu, time for a heartrate holiday in zone 4 to the Toaster, then to pump up some pace back to town.  Coggo, Heady, Phil, AvantiLeigh, Tina, Joe, Sooty, Jen, Hommy, HG, AvantiAndy, Sandy, Snow, HBK, Temple, The Speech, Spiessy and MeridaAndy filled Friars for the Goat grid, 18 shuffling and sorting into two lines to clear town.  I'd scored Sooty ahead and The Speech behind, it's always interesting / daunting / amusing / horrifying (strike out that which does not apply) pairing with a fellow cyclust for the first time, maybe it's a bit of primal/tribal passive/aggressive measuring up at the front, but The Speech rides a good line and length, albeit with a competitive flavour.   HG's hang back is harrowingly huge, six lengths at one stage staggering the squad.  MeridaAndy has been the peloton prostitute of late, offering himself around to any bunch that will take him.  The tempo turned up turning south on Boundary Rd, Sandy (sleepless), snuck into the caboose not to snooze but to survive, Heady was suffering the side effects of OTAitis from Wednesday's Pain Train, birthday girl Tina awash with the endorphins surviving it. I was up to the pointy end again at River Rd's kennels as The Speech cranked up the competition, taking great care that I stayed level as the speed grew toward the fourties.  HG exited to the caboose, I exited to Archer as impending employment drew me homeward.

10/3

It was a frivolous Friday with many in a cruising mindset, the Troyless FDC's even having a quiet lap. (Heaven forbid!)  Grumpy, Mel, Chops, Boof, Rocket, Pistol, Kenworth, Trav, BamBam, Ralphy, Shorty, ScottMat, Wozza, Jen, Nick, Temple, Nev and Bo teamed up to tap south on Archer, almost to the Sanctuary roundabout when an i.q. starved tradie stormed in ahead, slammed on the brakes and swerved to exit right (almost emptying the ute contents). Obviously three seconds wait time was just too precious.  Theatrics over, the bunch business resumed to Mitchell Rd, the slowly declining temperature (13) chilling the skin.  Long weekend plans occupied much of the chat but some sentences on ScottMat's new steed put the important things into perspective. (Rule #4 folks, rule #4).  Around the usual circuit with the passing parade of pelotons pushing clockwise, a long Goat train making pacy progress (into River Rd before we'd reached its end).  The Channel Rd procession moved me ever closer to the pointy end, just managed to finish a turn at the front as the Kinder came into view.  We rounded up a crawling car (with a questionable trailer and loose load), the sprint on in earnest (for those interested), but many chose to sit it out.  Boof picked up a bindii hitchhiker in the sidewall, cleverly left untouched to limp home, my day off allowing an epilogue of caffiene with the lasses and a long-time-no-see catch up with Kylie, Meags, The Fox, Fee, Wizz and Sosso. 


Week 10.     255km.           YTD 2,461km

 

Week 9 : Hommy's harassing habit

Post 386

25/2
A stiff southerly will cull a carpark crowd, doona diving would be the preferred past-time of the soft today I pondered during a reversed Saturday breakfast (toast first, cereal later).  So, who must ride before breakfast and who must breakfast before a ride? Numbers seem split down the middle.   Straight into zone 4 to commute south at 5:45, sharing the 25-35 km/h southerly saga with Wozz, taking bets on attendance.  Surprisingly, the Couldabeens carpark congregation contained Shorty, Rocket, AvantiTrev, Temple, HBK, Lucy, TrekTrev, Bo, Lenny, Kel, The Godfather, Bruce, Leah, BassoDan, Tina, TatPaul, BeerMat and Nev, 20 a preferred pack to splitting the masses of previous weeks (and kinder on my memory recall)    A tame tap alongside TatPaul got leg one done (without knives in the back), leg two with Wozz whipped up the mid thirties, and still the Channel Rd gravel patches send a shiver of traction terror through the troupe.  Wheels sung in the roaring fourties along Boundary Rd, there's nothing like a breeze up the bum to inflate the ego (till the next turn!)   The drivers into Old Dookie Rd vs the brakers in Boundary were poles apart, Leah caught on the back foot went uncerimoniously OTA, but Bruce returned to her aid. (It was a regrettable ride ritual for our rookie, hope it doesn't deter the determination Leah)  

FDC's must be on a ride Ramadan, I conveyed kudos for Kel' s cute kit, BeerMat was actually riding without the attraction of post ride beer, Tina two tapping a Couldabeens / Goats double, Nev's knee niggling and Shorty almost unrecognisable in a new kit.  Mt. Major's magic horizon is now almost veiled by darkness signalling Autumn lurks to keep us cool and set off the plague of doonitis.  There was a tack and jibe to tackle the breeze in Lemnos-Cosgrove Rd to return to town, nine cool culled Cats cranking east at the main eastern channel.  I'd scored a prime position by Ford Rd, about to do a turn approaching town with a minute or two to draw breath before the Wanganui workout.  Rocket set the bar high with a demonic drive in the fourties to DECA, Wozza poured on a pickling performance but all had Indian filed behind.  I was losing my grip on the fast freaks at the front, The Godfather, Bo, Lenny, Kel and co with the wattage to pass, mentally murdered my mindset.  Th rehab of recovery in Rudd Rd was bliss, and on landing at the Lemontree, Weapon joined in the philosophical philology on spelling and the english language, performance pressure and interviews with musical comparisons discussed over granola , yoghurt and berry (part two of my backward) breakfast.

27/2
The push to the Emu at 5:15 murdered Monday's legs, a mere 10 km/h ENE'er escalating me rapidly into zone 4, retaliation for a rideless Sunday?  Solo's have been scarce of late, high time to get out of the peloton protection program and h.t.f.u.  The relief I'd hoped for turning to the Toaster had vapourised, that Dookie demon (the one that changes wind direction when you turn) had struck, subtracting the north from the northeaster.  Old Dookie Rd offered the salvation of a tail breeze while I contemplated a Cats crank or a Goats gait, time and rule 5 chose the feline factor, subsequently found at Central Ave.  I blended into the bunch of Shane, Car+Mel, BigBen, Dion, Wongy, The Godfather, Tina, Jodie, Paul VanP and co, still rusty on the rolling turns I was sandwiched between Tina and The Godfather, guess I'll cop curses  if I make a shambles of it.  Lil'Tony, Cobbles, Sherls and Col joined from their idle in Boundary Rd, Car+Mel took a Channel Rd coffee exit as Pistol Pete slotted into the rotation.  Pace picked up south of the Broken bridges, rhythmic rotations ripping through the k's (or maybe the light easterly gave that impression?)  Retirements became popular over the highway, negatives brewing in my head proportional to speed, forcing a mass of mental digging to keep fronting the rushin' front.  There's a point where messages from heart, lungs, legs overpower the will, into Conrod's first dip was the end for me, superior speed (& youth) told me I'd done my dash. I was dragged over the finish line, but 65k before 7 and a 161 suffer score was my excuse. 

28/2
Despite the push beside TrekTrev on leg one, my Garmin refused to budge from 30.4 km/h, in the dark on pace and with pride of pace dented, a reboot was the salvation of speed and success.  The Turtles turnout terrific Tuesday, Shorty, Temple, SuperMario, Cougar, AvantiTrev, Jase, Cate, HBK, Ralphy, Jed, TrekTrev, Kel, FeltMat and Bo made it a record recruitment, maybe 17 degrees and a favourable breeze was the inspiration, but watch this space (and the grid spaces) in July!  A red led ahead challenged a chase, the swift, smooth, svelte silhouette of Weapon (aboard the TT Avanti) eventually caught at the S bend.   Pointing into the darkness of Boundary Rd (sianara Summer!), turtle interns Ralphy and Jed were line astern (for reasons that would become clear later), SuperMario and AvantiTrev maintaining their moderate momentum.  Craig Lotsalumens still grinds River Rd with two led lights blazing, but now sports flashing fork lights for f#@& sake!  Temples performance of late warrants a post ride sample, Weapon and Cate paired for a determined drive at the dip, I had TrekTrev to match for the last of River Rd but a mechanical demon slowed his start into Central Kialla.  A brief single filed slow till the problem was sorted, then back on the gas to Mitchell Rd with time made up to the highway, a rare clear passage the reward.  There were plenty of players for pace to Arcadia Downs, I got my turn done by Conrods dip but was then boxed in as Temple and Bo took the front.  Jed and Ralphy attacked early passing Bo on blow-up, none wanted the chase challenge and by the time I had a clear path, Ralphy and Jed were well clear, third spot still a satisfying score for me though.

1/3   

The price for early arrival Wednesday was pole position, Paul VanP, Pistol, Rocket, Mel, Shorty, Temple, Cate, Weapon, Kel, Bo, Boof, Chops, AvantiTrev and Kenworth were smarter, arriving later.  Still, it wasn't so bad driving the first 3 k with a suggestion of a ENE behind, FDC's Wozza, Bruce, BamBam, Grumpy, Pelly and Ralphy (FeltMat mechanically missing) joined at the bridge, Rocket pairing with me (sympathetic with the speed) to form the up line.  The pace was applied in Central Kialla but I had joy in the tow midfield, gradually demoted by rotation to the rear I found myself perusing a pack of peculiar perverted pedalling proctologists, two rows of folk hunched forward carefully examining the posterior ahead.  There was a tiny hint of colour on the horizon, an impressive string of lights on Boundary Rd being the mid week PainTrain of Goats headed our way as we slowed at River Rd's end.  

Up to Channel Rd and with work west, 

Shorty caught the Kinder curse (wring out all your wattage at the front only to watch breathless as everyone you just towed sail past into the sprint distance) yet again, round the bend the tempo maxed as an attack from the back had Rocket, Wozz, Boof, Pistol et al power past in a ChaCha conspiracy.  The bunch stretched out longer that parliaments question time, Boof Strava scoring a fine 1:08 for the 1.1 k segment.   FeltMat approached us from the west, now minus mechanical misdemeanours, on a flash new e-tap equipped Scott (so FeltMat formerly AvantiMat but originally FeltMat is now ScottMat.....just to make things clear), the roll to town wishing Weapon many happy returns.

2/3

On the hunt for a little variety Thursday, I set a course via the golf course and the brand new Verney Rd tarmac as a foreward to the Goat lap, feeling rather primed of pace if I don't say so.   Coggo, Speissy, Tina, Bickers, Jen, AvantiLeigh, AvantiAndy, Dipper, Phil, HG, Sandy, Sooty, Spartacus, Hommy, Belly and Snow formed a seventeensome from Friars, but chains were dragging at the stroke of 6.  Even a quiet roll out of town had elasticised the pack, Hommy driving alongside me (well, his rear wheel and my front wheel were paired) to Dobsons eventually got the turns rolling.  Kudos was served to Dipper and AvantiLeigh on their Wednesday workout (40 average), great to see Sooty back aboard a bike (without an engine), HG still continuing his three bike length exclusion zone and AvantiAndy with growling brake issues.  We'd homed in on a small team of tame tappers (Jimbo and Doc recognised) at Old Dookie Rd's end, Spartacus driving the overtaking manoeuvre in Boundary.   Harassed by Hommy again (rule #86 and #88 infringements aplenty) at the fig farm was prickling my patience, but bit the lip as AvantiLeigh, Coggo and co took us to the highway and beyond.  Back to the front with Spartacus for River Rd and its niggling SSE'er, we'd rolled the turn as Hommy half biked up for act two, but my repose rattled like Michael Douglas in "Falling Down" as I let my legs answer his challenge with a savage serve of speed.  It was rather feral of Foss stretching the pack (and the friendships) approaching the dip, the consequence was a bunch well split in two, the culprit now camped in the caboose. Tina, Sooty, Belly, AvantiLeigh, Snow and I continued on, timely though at River's end to take my leave and exit via the truck route. Apologies were extended later, the banter suggesting all was well (and that Hommy's harassing habit won't change!) 

3/3

Despite a cruisy commute to the Couldabeens carpark, Cate, Mel & I were still first on site, so a sneaky  sidetrack toward the bridge for a minute had us seated midfield on our return.  Pistol, Bruce, Wozz, Boof, Kenworth, Nick, Temple, Troy, Jen, Chops, Kel, Bo, Rocket, Paul VanP, Shorty, Pelly and ScottMat swamped the shops' parking bays.  The bunch blast off at 6 speared south to exit town, quite the rubber band syndrome as we got up to cruising speed but Pelly punctured (his trifecta for the week) to give all an early intermission. At least there was communication about the halt,  ditching the silly silence system.  The restart was a smoother scenario, BamBam found lurking at the truck route.  20 km/h worth of tailwind at Central Kialla with Wozz and Pistol at the front made for maximum motion, my turn for masochism was in River Rd with Bruce (bridge to the dip) then with Bo for a k.  A long Goat pain train wheeled west, Boundary Rd blurred by, the lottery of Channel Rd ahead for us. Pistol charged the ChaCha at Hopeful corner drawing Wozz, Bruce, me and Bo in Indian file behind, Wozz wrung out the wattage when Pistol pickled, Bruce bolted and seemed to be odds on favourite till Troy and Paul VanP pounced in the dying metres to take the one two.  Coffee connoisseurs cornered south and workers wheeled north at Channel Rd's end, Cate cajoled and coerced a crack at the Crit sprint segment (tempted by tailwind?), Jen and Mel joining in for a week's end workout (and a PB as the week's dessert for me. 

Week 9.        262km.          YTD 2,206

Week 8 : Surreptitiously squeezing Semtex

Post 385

18/2

After last week's Beach Rd's bliss it was back to home soil, the delight of local pot-holes, coarse tarmac and man-hole covers in the bike lane for Saturday's circuit, thankfully Wozza's, Mel's and the Couldabeens company made up for it.  There was another population explosion at the carpark ; TrekTrev, Kel, Nev, Lucy, Rocket, BeerMat, Boof, Pistol, Temple, Popgun, HBK, Lenny, TatPaul, Cougar, TrekSam, TrackStan, TrekJack, MeridaAndy, BigLen, Jase, Shorty, AvantiTrev, The Godfather, Troy, Bruce, TatMat, Carl, Manny and Trav turning up......bigger than BenHur again!  Senesibly split into two peloton portions, I'd again berthed in the first group away (TrekTrev, Troy, Mel, Wozz, Lucy, Boof, Popgun, TatMat, TatPaul, TrekJack, TrackStan, TrekSam, Shorty and Cougar).  Led lights lanced the Channel Rd darkness, Wozza's attempt to silence the tattle with tempo somewhat unsuccessful.

The few part-timers and casuals in the bunch take away that family feel, there's something rather unsettling about a foreign erratic wheel amongst the familiar.  A substandard call at the pub for an approaching car split the pack, TrekJack (unfamiliar in peloton protocols) leapfrogging the queue on the regroup.  I'd been given a thorough half-wheeling by Jack up to Old Dookie Rd, TrackStan pairing more politely with me eastward but felt I was being tested on a long 3k slog to the Toaster.   Nath joined in riding a relic 7 speed (with rear pack rack), I was preoccupied with the breakfast menu while working west on Lemnos Cosgrove Rd and Ford.

TrekJack paired at the pointy end with me crossing Grahamvale Rd and hit the half-wheel habit again, this time rattling my cage enough to retaliate by driving harder when he attempted to roll early.  Peak hour traffic arrived early at Numurkah Rd causing a minute intermission, group two pulling up behind made for a massed attack on Wanganui hill.  Pace was poured on early when traffic cleared, stretching the bunch long (to shorten the odds?), Wozz whipped up the workload at the test track as I gradually moved toward the front with the hill looming large.  Motivated by Mel at my Mavic, I picked a line past the faded to get 5th spot, the roll along Rudd slowly regrouping the stretched pack.  

Supermarket stereotypes, carbon's fragility and a Couldabeens tour elsewhere was the breakfast babble at the Lemontree's long (15metres) table.

20/2

I questioned my squirt (predicting a perambulating peace train) around the golf course loop till a solitary bike in Wanganui Rd validated my 5:15 start, 7 degrees (feels like 4) was an early intro to winter though the Zwift softies wouldn't notice.  It was a treat to tap the new Verney Rd smooth tarmac (it would want to be at $1.6m per km) back to town, Hommy, Cate, Principal Skinner, Phil, Sandy, Ridley Craig and JB the scarce starters for Monday's ritual.  The easterly exit of town had Brown's Cows as a led lure ahead in Old Dookie to pump our pace to chase, Hommy habitually half-wheeling, PrincipalSkinner shooting a short shift, even Ridley Craig trying a turn (although a one and only).   We'd rounded up the meanderers at Old Dookie's end and set a course south on Boundary Rd, JB perched well over the back of the MrSheen'd Pinarello, Sandy calling it quits to the caboose while Phil, Cate, PrincipalSkinner, Hommy and I kept the boiler stoked in pursuit of more led's ahead (so much for the perambulating pace).  The westerly wore away some enthusiasm head-on in River Rd, four turns done at the front and it was my turn to depart to satisfy my employer.  It was a push along the alternative route, two passing trucks donating a delicious draft (albeit abbreviated) then northward home via Archer Rd, the past fortnight's post ride socialism now a distant memory. 

21/2

I had a breakfast of Kellogs Konfidence, it was Tuesday thrash day and how many / little would turn up?  Cate was keen to try the Turtles again, Nick, HBK, TrekTrev, Cougar, SuperMario, Jase, AvantiTrev, Bo and Kel turned up with the same intent (or most seemed to).  AvantiTrev preached a sermon on the (a)mount of noise generated calling at intersections (seems we were waking some) so a silent signal system was used to appease the critics.  I poured some urgency into a tame tempo on Channel Rd, FeltMat joining in to make us a dozen while I tuned out to HBK's half biking.  The muted crossing of Doyle's Rd went well but the caboose dragged till the gaps closed, Jase and HBK driving to the Kinder, but Bo seemed sluggish (burdened by a boisterous bucks night?). AvantiTrev seemed to back off the gas and SuperMario had legs under labour, many using this time for respiratory respite.   Darth Vader was in the dog house but there were a few gasps for the gravel surprise at Sellmans, into Boundary Rd the forecast headwind was thankfully absent.  Cate tore into a tenacious turn in River Rd, HBK needed tissues for his grizzles on the grind alongside me.  Jase, Nick, TrekTrev and FeltMat kept toughing out their turns (it never get easier, you just go faster Greg said) as River, Central Kialla and Mitchell soon passed.  Bo belted into Conrod straight possessed, stretching two lines into one long one, small gaps opening to Jase then Cate as others tucked in behind.  I played leapfrog to Jase's wheel, two deep breaths then a leap to Bo's, his fuse spluttering at the 400 metre mark (you can get blue pills to cure that early arrival problem Bo!) His look of disappointment as I bolted by was priceless, full steam out of the tow spiking all my Garmin graphs, but the chocolates dissolved the distress.

22/2

A thrash on McIntosh (egged on by Cate) stirred up the legs and lungs en-route to Wednesday's Couldabeens clan, it was populous maximus at the carpark with Car+Mel, Wozza, Chops, Kenworth, Pelly, Ralphy, Temple, BamBam, Nick, Lucy, TrekTrev, Bruce, Leah, Rocket, Nev, Boof, Bo and Kel ready to ride.

Scurrying south at 6, Weapon, FeltMat, Troy, Grumpy and Jed joined in, Leah's bucket o' nails (mechanical rattle) causing a slow and some confusion (Wozza, Chops, Troy, Grumpy and Jed cranking into the distance blissfully unaware).  Idling slowly to Sanctuary roundabout, the call of "all on" got the party started again but many were missing on the stocktake at the truck route. (maybe the recent vows of urban silence have suppressed the message?)  In the bunch of Kenworth, Pelly, Ralphy, BamBam, Cate, Temple, Car+Mel, Nick, Lucy, TrekTrev and FeltMat was an ideal size where we'd get several appearances at the front with enough drivers to recover between turns and make life easier on the reaction time.   BamBam had my wheel which would test my pairing but the following draft would be a bonus.  Bunch one were drawing into the distance but our bakers dozen seemed content with our velocity.  Into Channel Rd the odds of inheriting the lead role for the ChaCha shortened, Car+Mel unable to escape the driving duties to the Kinder.  BamBam hit the nitrous at Prentice Rd and I tucked into his tow, Lucy jumped early which served Temple the ideal lead out, Ralphy without enough road played second fiddle.. 

23/2

The ritual preparations, hydrations and ablutions dragged on Thursday morning, there'd be an 11 minute dash to reach the Turtle grid by 5:40.  With a minute to spare, I joined Temple, HBK, Cougar and AvantiTrev at the carpark, Kel and Bo (rattled by a rattle) arriving at the third stroke.   Temple and HBK did the first shift (Kensington roundabout scoring a speed censure), plenty of pace for me to Orrvale Rd beside HBK, then kinder to the Kinder beside AvantiTrev.  I had a brief spell in the draft while Bo, Kel and Temple towed the troupe to Boundary Rd, the endangered KillkennyPaul sighted southbound was enlisted in a caboose capacity as Temple and HBK incited insurgent inferences powering to One Tree Dam. I had another huff & puff beside HBK then the turns rolled turning into River Rd, AvantiTrev talking of a tempo truce (courting caboose kudos?)   Like squeezing Semtex, the accelerator was slowly and surreptitiously squeezed soon after (returning motion for the majority), the last kilometre of River Rd with HBK and 1200 metres of Central Kialla Rd bumping up my breathing.  Kel's concrete composure aboard the Giant is the benchmark,  rule #59 resonating in Mitchell Rd feeling the WNW'er as I spent quality time harassing HBK cresting Dave's dip.   Expectations brewed in Raftery Rd, only Temple, HBK, Bo and I swapping turns from Galbraiths gate suggested an early attack was off the agenda.  Luck would have Temple and Bo advance as HBK waved the white flag in Conrod straight, Temple hit the boost button as Bo lay in wait behind.   I drew a breath or two in the hope of picking up the pieces, Bo belted into the last dip, it took me 101 rpm to sneak past him for a win.

24/2
A southerly made windy work to reach the south of town,  Bruce, Nick, Cate, BamBam, Chops, Pelly, Ralphy, Trav, Nev, Pistol, Wozz, Weapon, Rocket, Lucy, FeltMat, Lenny, Boof, Grumpy and SuperMario assembling for the Friday 6am getaway.

Boof braved the headwind as FDC's filtered in from a puncture delayed early loop, Trav establishing the up line while Rocket rolled up from the rear ranks as his backstop.  I took the soft option of a tow, Ralphy ropeable losing Garmin satelite connection (interference from his magnetic personality?)   Lucy's looked luscious in Liquigas kit (and riding a Liquigas Cannondale, nailing Rule #18) but I was dissapointed there wasn't matching socks!  The serious business of stocktaking cyclists got underway, it haunts my hippocampus should I miss a name off the honour roll. A u-turning bike in River Rd joined in; Lost, one stray cat, needs vaccination and de-sexing, gone missing from the 51/Cat train, answers to the call of Godfather!

Pondering position on my promotion toward the peloton pointy end, I reckon I'd cracked the ChaCha code;  to berth in the first 10% of the left line at the grid almost guarantees a turn with recovery time before the Kinder (figures based on attendance and performance and are dependant on wind and market trends, seek advice from your consultant, terms and conditions apply, see in store for details) but back to the ride reality......  I'd finally arrived at the front with Choppy approaching the cypress trees and was on top of the 14 cog when "puncture" was called.  The halt found Nick pitstopped and on the receiving end of sledges as Nev set to change the tube, the later inflation by CO2 exploding the GP4000 sidewall (good to see many carrying a small square of canvas as a temporary fix). "Just a roll back to town" of course turned into a sprint at the ChaCha, the tempo temptation is just too strong.

Week 8      248 km                     YTD 1,944 km

Week 7: A marshmallow arse?

Post 384

11/2

Well, baste my quadriceps and sauté my gluteus maximus!, 24 degrees (75F) at 5:30 am was a steamy Saturday start, the roll south further humidified with a light shower from the heavens evaporating almost instantly from the hot tarmac.  Nightclubbers still staggered the streets as I found Jase and Cate then TatPaul, BassoDan and BigBill en route to the carpark where a cast bigger than Ben Hur had assembled (the recall to labour my limbic system). Deep breath......Boof, AvantiAndy, Hoges, BigMat, Jen, AvantiTrev, Trav, Wozz, Temple, Troy, BamBam, HBK, Cougar, Rocket, Bruce, new recruit Leah, Popgun, Pistol, Shorty, Nick, SuperMario, Lucy, The Godfather and Lenny, MeridaJohn and Clive  creating a Cat caboose (for a foreward to a feline fixture) and Beery who'd tacked on uninvited (Rule  #19 old chap!)  Temple had judiciously held back the rearmost 20 to form two controllable bunches rather than moving a manic mess, but inadvertently had created "chasers" and "the chased".   By grid position I had been berthed with "the chased" (Hoges, BigMat, TatMat, TatPaul, BassoDan, Trav, Cate, Troy, BamBam, Cougar, Beery, Popgun, BigBill and the tiny trailer of TomCats), a pronto push to Kensington gardens but settling into some form of rhythm and gaining FeltMat to our eastward effort.  Comfortably through the Wozza S bends (kindly swept of the loose gravel that VicRoads can't seem to move) that has haunted our smooth line through, then caution through the tyre thick stones littering Sellmans straight.  Stewing over the subtlety of wind direction seemed silly with the W-WSW'er at just 7-13 km/h , reaching the front to pair with FeltMat was to be a long solid slog I hadn't counted on (dedication to the kilometres has paid him dividends).  Beside BigMat in Old Dookie Rd was a shorter affair, daylight struggled to pierce the blanket of cloud but the piggery's pong stabbed the olfactories with a vengeance.  The drivers seemed hungry for speed over the intersections and round the corners, quite the rubber band effect for a bunch of 17 (what would it have been like with 38?)   Reaching the main eastern channel I got another turn in the drivers seat with FeltMat, then in Ford Rd with BigMat.  A complimentary comment (what did I have for breakfast?) from TatPaul eased my stifled gasps of recovery, the slow for Grahamvale Rd and its' roadworks traffic control the chance to capture composure. In Wanganui Rd BamBam bolted to the front at the transfer station, slimming the squad to single file, Jase struck the second blow to DECA where Hoges let loose a marathon turn.  I'd jumped to his wheel just as the fractures opened, and hung on to wait for his expiry.

Onward he pumped possessed, snatching gears as his legs faded, at 300 to go I gave it everything to get past, only for Troy, Trav and TatMat to hammer humiliation past me 50 metres later.  Pistol, Lenny, Boof and Lucy suddenly shot past on Mt.Wanganui's peak, the "chasers" had caught "the chased" (thanks I'm told to Rockets lengthy lead-out).   Insurance fraud, those on the up & up and doing what feels good kept tongues tattling, beer for Bo's birthday (we were well beyond the 16 degree rule) was my light globe moment for BigMat's attendance, I now dub him BeerMat in honour of his true allegiance.

13/2

Speissy, Sandy, Principal Skinner, RidleyCraig, Hommy, AvantiLeigh, Cate and Kate fronted Friars for the Monday Peace Train,  Kate reserving the rear seat (with 7 months off the bike) but wasn't sure why RidleyCraig took a tow too.

The weekends indulgences were compared with those circulating, Belly joined in at SPC, suffering sluggishness from excess weekend hydration.  13 degrees was a cool contrast to last week's heat, arm warmers suddenly standard uniform.  A cruisy tap around mostly idling in zone 2 and 3, Hommy's puncture at Central Kialla the ride's entertainment.   True to the Goat mantra, the ride wasn't a race.........till the end, I bumped up the tempo into Conrod straight which brought RidleyCraig to the front, but AvantiLeigh (with advantage youth) powered to the podium. This post ride chin wag and coffee habit is becoming addictive, Welsford St cafe the Goat trough of choice.

14/2

Rather inspiring to have a doubling of numbers turn up for Tuesday's turtles (Nick, AvantiTrev, TrekTrev, Temple, Shorty, FeltMat, Kel, Cate, Jase, Cougar and HBK), hoping it's a continuing trend though I'll bet winters chill sends most diving under doonas.  There were enough volunteers to form two lines and rotate the task of slicing the SSW'er, Cate and Kel putting class amongst the commoners.  Nick Temple and Kel were tough enough to grind into the Boundary Rd headwind (17-24 km/h), I'd been blessed with a berth at the back for a free tow to River Rd.  I was coping rather well beside FeltMat with the wind coming in at 10 o'clock, finding the need to ease off a bit to keep FeltMat's wheel level. Temple, TrekTrev and Shorty seemed to be emptying the tank on their turns while I had a bit in reserve, let's pull hard on the handbrake of assertiveness before my helmet gets too tight!  Peering through the roadside jungle of weeds we managed a clear passage across the highway, pressing on via Raftery Rd for the sweat and sprint sequel.  The planets had aligned at Arcadia Downs, here's me sitting sedately at 5th wheel, HBK boxed in and Nick, Temple and TrekTrev doing the work, just Jase behind me to watch for. Out of the first dip and onto the 600 metre plateau, the speed wound into the high 40's while I waited for the moment to pounce.  Confident with 300 metres to go, I arose from 3rd wheel on the 14 cog and, using the Rocket technique (chin over the front axle) stood on the gas to shake Jase off my wheel (no hope!).  Gritting teeth and dialling up the stubborn screw as Jase pulled out from my draft I had just enough to ease ahead for the chocolates.  I'm trying not to enjoy the post ride coffee and social sustenance 'cause I'll crave it going back to work next week, Grumpy's OTA, boat capers and Nev's birthday soaked up a lazy half hour before meandering home.

15/2

The dim image of a 5:30am bike commuter (wearing black and no lights) indicates she was dim in intelligence too, but the bright lights of Cate, Car+Mel were easily found on the way to Wednesday's Couldabeens lap.  AvantiTrev, Kel, Bruce, Trav, Lucy, Shorty, BamBam, FeltMat, Pelly, Kenworth, Nick, Rocket, Wozz, Pistol, Jen and Nev exited the carpark at 6, I took sympathy on Shorty piloting the pack partnerless south, sharing the toil to the roundabout, Trav setting a swift standard on leg 2 to match.  Peloton position seems to still haunt some, who would pull the short straw for the ChaCha sprint lead-out nobody knows. River Rd had a later sunrise but it was worth waiting for, 42 wheels working and many tongues tattling drowned out the sound of the truck and dog approaching behind, caboose lookouts might need a refresh on their job description?

Plenty of shift workers guaranteed only one turn for most, the ChaCha task turned up for Car+Mel and Cate to crank into Kinder corner, Lucy, Shorty and I to drag the pack to Prentice Rd. Shorty had the hard work to get round the turbocharged Lucy, I managed a brief burst beyond Prentice but was soon (again) swamped by the sultans of speed.

16/2

A few days in the big smoke was a magnet to ride the Beach Rd Mecca, fine misty rain the welcome mat at the Mordialloc start but a little damp didn't dampen my enthusiasm.  Gradually up to a  perky pace (helped by a 16 km/h SSE'er), I'd passed ones and twos northbound at Mentone, a few gradual ups and downs of elevation getting the ticker ticking.  Little rooster tails off the Michelin's wasn't ideal but the billiard table hot mix could turn an arse to marshmallow!  Confidence grew as the showers eased, passing plenty with only twos, threes and fours time trialling past (the aero helmets and full carbon disc wheels were a bit serious for suburbia)

There were plenty of serious commuters (backpacks with a change of kit for work) and several massive bunches (50+) southbound, the smell of sea air and sights of a million city lights makes a change from channels and orchards ad nauseum.  Brighton, Elwood and Middle Park passed by inheriting a couple of soloists on my wheel, traffic was building for the 7am starters but were most co operative with the metre matters.  Up to Port Melbourne then a u-turn with the breeze to battle back,  I took a moment to souvenir a snap or two then set about a determined drive south, collecting BrightonBarryBianchi to tow for a suburb or three (regrets selling his titanium steed).  The big bunches had thinned (they were mostly now northbound) but caught and passed a few threes and fours, the neverending traffic lights were mostly green but the red ones made it interval training. Eventually back to the Mordialloc pier for a caffeine chaser, the 171 Strava trophies was a surprise bonus!


17/2
When you're on a good thing........  I had a repeat of Thursday's ride (can't get enough!) in better weather Friday but minus the wind assistance toward Melbourne's centre.  The rise and fall to Sandringham knocked the wind from my sails (and lungs), it was off the seat for this flatlander to feel worthy (me thinks there'll be no avalanche of trophies today). A few waves of commuting cars vacuumed me a bit of pace while trying to divert attention from the luscious lycra jogging demographic beachside.  Big bunches bolted south with northbound bikes rare, a solo workout more inspiring than slothful soaking up a tow.  Nearing Elwood, bunches were forming in the side streets, I'd joined the Docklands Tridents for a short spell till fewer traffic lights allowed a safe pass.  The squirt to St.Kilda had more distractions (Porsche GT3, Lotus Exige and a Diablo) but I pressed on to Station Pier before a turnabout for the trip back. Through the titilatingly titled Strava segments ('Cerberus lung buster',  'Go Go juice', 'EOS pimple' and 'Late for my wedding at Brighton Savoy') progress was pleasing even though I'd been passed by several others, Rule #38 needs to resonate often to keep the helmet size consistent.  Pushing harder jellied the legs which embarrased any effort uphill but I reached the Mordialloc finish  (driven by the coffee craving) pleased with a small handful of trophies for the effort (a paltry 123)

Week 7    267km                      YTD 1,696km

Week 6: Full Foss force

Post 383

3/2

Predictions of a slim Saturday grid (an extra curricular Couldabeens crank scheduled at Bright) were unfounded as a copious crew converged on the carpark (Trav, BigBill, TrekTrev, BassoDan, Temple,Wozza, Jen, AvantiAndy, AvantiTrev, Popgun, Boof, Rocket, Bruce, Pistol, Mel, TatPaul, TatMat, Avanti Mat, Cougar, Nick, Shorty, SuperMario, Mitch and Tum with Clive, Cranky and a couple of cryptic Cats creating a caboose (for a pussycat prologue).

A long line of cyclusts speared east into the pre dawn light of Channel Rd (yes SuperMario, the pace is always on!)  Identifying all the players only gets underway as rotations change the paired partners ('round the corner and a do si do!), Basso Dan finally off night shift, TatMat back at the school salt mine, AvantiMat defying Rule #62 (no earphones), Mitch cranking up the k's after an extended hibernation, BigBill steadily refining Rule #59 (hold your line) and AvantiAndy exorcising the Friday PainTrain demons. 

 Sunrise served up the super scenery yet again (insert provocative pic to antagonise northern hemispherians) on Old Dookie Rd, without wind the velocity was voluminous, or were we energised escaping the piggery pungency? The turn toward breakfast at the Emu impelled the pace west, past the kennels, orchards and channels Nick and I scored our only drive at the front. Surprise, surprise, Cougar cranked a turn with AvantiTrev as the wheels rolled to Lemnos and Ford Rd beyond, many thoughts seemed to be honed on peloton position approaching suburbia as 

Rule #79 (fight for your town lines) came into play for Wanganui Rd.   I'd transitioned from the down line to the upline at DECA just as the afterburners were ignited, shifts shortened rapidly promoting me forward but I was hoping to play the waiting game till my Kittles Rd cue.  Pulling all stops out from 6th wheel I got by a few, Wozz whooshed by beckoning me to follow (I wish! nothing left cranking 55 km/h uphill!) but managed 5th behind the  explosion of energy that was Boof, Wozz and Bruce. A boulevard babble back to base then chat on climbing hills, celebrity chefs and bombing diets kept the sentences swapping at the Lemontree table, the serious stuff on keeping Couldabeens class cohesion was chewed over in a post caffiene think tank.  

7/2

There was a winter's reminder headed to the Turtles Tuesday but the cool southerly couldn't deter the junkie's fix of being back on the bike again, craved after two whole days without (ride denied by rain Monday).  I'd convinced Cate  to try the Turtles; Temple, TrekTrev and HBK the only others keen at 5:40. A foreign female attached to our single filed effort as we entered Channel Rd, Temple tapping leg one but a slow for two baulked at Doyle's Rd made my work in leg two tame (HBK sarcasm duely delivered).  The mystery girl had gone OTA by the cypress trees, but five forged forward (rule #19 & #88 applied), loose gravel at the S bend producing a sphincter pucker, TrekTrev scoring a second sensory scare with Darth Vader gnashing near his ankle.  Cate and Temple braved Boundary's 22 km/h worth of headwind like Ghurka's, easy on the throttle turning into River Rd I wound up the wick for a 2600 metre drive west.  TrekTrev took a short shift at the dip, HBK rounding off River for Cate and Temple to tackle the breeze head on again through Central Kialla. My crack at Mitchell ended at Archer with a deep dig to catch Temple's wheel, TrekTrev having kaboomed off the back. The foursome flogged on toward the highway baited by red led's ahead (AvantiTrev and Hoges shortcutting from missing the 5:40 flagfall), Cate to Roubaix and Temple to Galbraiths gate, my job to round up Hoges and AvantiTrev at Arcadia Downs.  HBK hammered into Conrod, Temple with the tempo to nudge 50 to the end.  Tenacious teamwork beat the hares home, holidays allowing me the indulgence of post ride coffee and the weekend's yarns.

8/2

Popularity (or the possibility of a big bunch tow?) drew devotees to the carpark Wednesday, warmer weather (18 degrees) may have been the inspiration but an easterly urged me to get a turn done early to avoid River Rd's rigour.  I headed 23 (Boof, Kel, Nick, Shorty, Ralphy, Jen, Kenworth, AvantiMat, Jase, Nev, Wozza, Grumpy, Chops, BamBam, Pistol, Pelly, Rocket, Weapon, Bruce, Cate, Temple, Mel and Bo) out of town, Jase paired with me to the roundabout with a squad of sprinters (Bruce, Wozz, Boof, Nev and Pistol) in a convenient coincidence line astern behind to propel the peloton into Mitchell Rd.  

Nev policed the pace as the Hares howled into the headwind, my driving duty done, I'd happily hunkered into the team tow to start the social sentences swapping.  AvantiMat is back to his former i.d. (FeltMat) after the sad demise of his Avanti Corsa in tough times (thoughts are with you, by many, my friend).  The FDC's seem to be enjoying being Troyless but there's a Nev nightmare to counter in his absence,  the prescription for Weapon's bike obsession (rule #4 personified) is simply to ride more!  Temple and I kept an eye on the caboose as the long line stretched into River Rd, trying to keep a headcount as two dozen shared the energy ebbing easterly. 

Nick and Kenworth put the vim in the velocity at Kinder corner, Mel and Cate took cover in the left line as Shorty and I, the compulsory fixtures at the front, flogged into the ChaCha.  Arriving early at the business end and with no hope of a place,

I stretched the bunch long at Prentice Rd, an interminable wait for the sprinters to pounce as I turned myself inside out at 53 clicks (the slowly reversing car from a driveway ahead was a manic moment) but was pleased to hold on for sixth in the wake of the 60km/h Boof express.  A roll of recovery back to town, catching Kel's kind kudos could cause cranial convulsions!  I could make a habit of this post ride coffee and cackle habit that holidays have allowed, but would it spoil Saturday's sanctity?  It's been eight years since my stick saga rearranged the skull, touch wood (pardon the pun) I'll keep upright for another 8.

 

9/2

TipTom stood out like a sore (Tom) thumb at Friars Thursday, a nervous newbie "finding fitness" but needing a Bachelor of Bike Ed and a big serve of aerodynamics.  Speissy, Joe, Coggo, Belly, AvantiAndy, Sandy, Snow, Jen, Hommy, Phil, HG, Spartacus, Temple, LegalAndy, Tina, HBK and JB filtered in for the 6am off, Coggo and I on escort duty to exit town, but the bunch broke in two at Doyles Rd for traffic to clear.  Regrouped and rotating, TipTom was in meltdown reaching the drivers seat against the northeaster, darting for left lane cover as fitter and faster forged forward.  LegalAndy put in a brief submission, Hommy happy half-wheeling, but the velocity yo-yo'd to Boundary Rd where the breeze behind finally smoothed the speed and turned up the tempo.  TipTom did another lane swap for survival at the Pub as Tina, Jen, JB and Phil kept the pot boiling. 

Coggo and I cranked the 1st shift of River Rd into the 40's as the troops turned serious and silent, the caboose proving popular as the drivers were whittled down to 11 to echelon westward.  Many were missing as we swung south to Central Kialla, back on the gas beside Jen (look up smooth in the dictionary and you'll find a picture of her) to Mitchell Rd and with Coggo to Archer, dawdling water hens made a chichane to navigate at Dave's dip.  The ranks thinned further in Raftery Rd, ten then eight then just five fearless into Conrod straight. I rolled across from HBK's turn, a quick peek back finding all had Indian filed behind me!  Full Foss force lasted just a few hundred metres into the headwind and with no back up and the cardiac count crested, the mental plug was pulled with 200 to go, Coggo, Belly, HBK and Temple homed in for the kill at the finish line.


10/2

There was a touch of tempo trepidation turning up to the train of toil Friday (rule #5 Foss!) but the old engine has been running ok of late, fears forgotten when a big field fronted Friars. (AvantiAndy, Phil, AvantiLeigh, Coggo, Carl, Belly, Spartacus, Heady, Dipper, Tum and chum Chad).  Many hands make light work they say, so short sharp turns were on the menu as Heady took on Act 1, a solitary performance with an OTA encore!   I'd berthed behind AvantiLeigh who flicked his elbow at Dobson's bridge, it wasn't too bad cranking at 40+ with a shorter 500 metre target, but it was hell catching the tail end when caboose captain AvantiAndy called me in.  Chad charged the leg to Central Ave, a bunch ahead baiting our pace, Coggo and Belly threading the thin line between the portly perambulating pack and the oncoming cars.   A hint of the southwester put heads down in Boundary Rd, lucky I scored a little shelter from the trees for my dip to the orchard.  All clear at the highway, then off the Fizik to catch Phil's flog to Channel Rd as we scored Eggy aboard.  Spartacus had retired from duty in River Rd, I was spending my recovery time talking down the heartrate (with little effect) till the next appearance at the business end.   Laws Drive to the second white post beyond the bridge was plenty (strangely, it was easier at the front than trying to catch the last wheel for a tow), my peel off paving the way for the Eggman to show us how it's done.  Belly joined a now Andyless caboose to recover, sustained speed taking it's toll on many, or so the body language spoke.  It was a little intimidating at the front with Eggy breathing down my cassette, I tried desperately to freeze the speed to smooth the way for all.  Traffic ruined a record, halting us at the highway (why can't black cars use headlights in the pre-dawn light?) but life is worth more than a Strava tick.  Two then three then four cars followed (almost caught my breath!) till the Raftery Rd boiler was stoked for a fast finish.  Dipper went wide and went bush at bridge corner, but recovered back to the tarmac for Roubaix corner (buy the guy an MTB!),  consistent drives at 43 helping my turn at Arcadia Downs but giving Eggy the lead into Conrod was a pace payout.  Finding even more to catch AvantiLeigh's wheel was crushing my resolve, Rule #5 bounced around the pre frontal cortex as Phil popped off the back.  Eggy graciously resigned from a long drive at the front, Coggo taking the chocolates as my scenery blurred in the recovery from 26 k's at Zone 5.

 

Week 6   200km           YTD 1,429

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Week 5 : Sorting sprinters and snoozers

Post 382

28/1

Weapon, Nev and Cate had divorced the Saturday lap for an affair with the hills, just TatPaul, Wozz, Rocket, Popgun, Cougar and Boof had formed an excuse for a bunch when finally the masses (Bruce, Bo, Trav, Pistol, Jen, Kel, Shorty, AvantiAndy, The Godfather, Temple, HBK, Chops and SuperMario) arrived in the dying minutes. 7 had inflated to 21 in 14 degrees to exit at 6, out of 40 wheels I'd drawn the short straw sandwiched between Rocket and Pistol to kickstart a cardiac cadenza in legs 2 and 3. Fear not Foss, 20 others, make that 18 (rule #67 violation) were yet to donate a drive to the cause.  An eerie mist arose from the channels in the pre dawn (water warmer than the air?),  38 clicks was set on the cruise control chilling the skin, although I was warmed by Kel's comeback after a 12 week absence.  Bo's joined team Godfather sporting an Italia kit, Popgun suffering kit confusion (spruiking Cannondale on an Avanti?), at least PistolPete's panache presented perfectly.

I'd calmed concerns being between the twins of tempo (Rocket and Pistol), they are most co-operative and compliant with my limits of distance and pace.  The sun finally got out of bed just as Bo punctured at the main eastern channel, Kel was appointed pit crew, the opportunity for oxygen taken by all before the Wanganui workout.  The sprint scenario at DECA was Chops, Wozz and I arriving early at the business end (it's Chops' speciality) each of us toasting ourselves to Kittles Rd only to benefit the sprint Stasi (Bruce, Boof, Rocket et al) perfectly placed yet again. The entire bunch had passed by as I crested the hill, one last lunge caught the bunch tail for the chatty cruise to the Lemontree.  Riot tactics, roadside wildlife and the strange SAM priority kept conversation cooking over breakfast.

30/1

Wozz hammering the hills, Weapon's tenacious triathlon time and even BigMat tapping a lap was almost intimidation (performance anxiety?) yet inspiration to climb aboard the Baum and crank out the k's Monday.   Out to the Emu with a hint of horizon light, convinced I was hammering into a headwind but it was only weekend woebegones.

A glance back spied a distant bike light, there's nothing like being stalked to spur on the speed! Down to the Toaster and turning to town, the search for Pussycats was on in Old Dookie Rd.  Found finally at Central Ave, I turned to jump aboard the Cat pack of MeridaJohn, Tina, Eddy, Car+Mel, Shane, Dalts and half a dozen unidentifiable dudes in the dark, all quite cruisy in the mid 30's till several departed into Channel Rd.  The stakes raised into the fourties at the Broken bridges, a momentary slow for a roadside kangaroo to bound the fence at One Tree Dam, then back on the gas to River Rd.  Taking turns with the 8 pacemakers, I attempted to smooth out my rusty rotations, full focus on rolling turns eliminates the chat and sightseeing!  By River Rd's end I resigned (with others) from active duty in an attempt to bring the heart rate down from overload, there were sprints out of the corners to catch the draft but  appreciation for the four sharing the tempo at the front towing us home. Wheels howled to Arcadia Downs and swung into Conrod, nobody attempted a sprint finish (tanks empty?), a solid 38 average was the reward to town.

31/1

A nasty SSW'er (17-30 km/h) was at the front door to greet me Tuesday morning, fuelling an angry crank on the 17 cog to get me to the Turtle grid (at least it got the old engine up to operating temperature).  Nick, Cougar, AvantiMat, HBK and Lucy arrived, the flagfall at 5:40 had a few crawling from the carpark (picking position?).  Keen to keep the Hares at a distance, I kept the pace percolating, the stragglers catching half way into leg 1.  Lucy was lightless, understandably shying from the front, so I drove a triple turn to the cypress trees as an agenda aide memoire. AvantiMat put in a good turn to Channel Rd's end (holidays haven't hampered), my turn again to be belted by the breeze in Boundary Rd and scoring a few squeaks on speed. HBK and Nick stepped up to serve a turn in River Rd, the southwester whittling away the intentions till a little tree cover resparked some enthusiasm.  The verbal handbrake was applied again in Central Kialla, I gave a few metres of reprieve until shelter from the trees accidentally (on purpose) bumped up the pace again. (if there's chat in the bunch you ain't going fast enough!)  The day turned light enough in Mitchell Rd for Lucy to see in the drivers seat, Nick, AvantiMat and HBK having another crack till the caboose cracked at Dave's dip. (a huff & puff at the highway helped recovery).  Position had me lucky to be towed to Conrod straight, Nick handed me the reigns so turned up the wick out of the dip but Lucy let loose at the 600 mark (she's like drafting a match with the wood scraped off!) HBK and AvantiMat stoked the boiler to the last dip, I just couldn't resist full steam ahead to pinch the podium place.

1/2
I was thinking of a quieter Couldabeens commute (avoiding yet another early turn at the front) just as Wozz suggested it......karma rules Wednesday!  Cate, Car+Mel concurred with tactics and our 5:57 arrival found 6 others ahead to hopefully shoulder the early loads. A massed crowd of Lucy, Trav, BigMat, Shorty, Kenworth, Rocket, Pistol, Boof, Weapon, Bruce, Ralphy, Pelly, Troy, Chops, Temple, Manny & Carl (on a cross clan cultural exchange), SuperMario, Jen, AvantiMat, Nick, Bo, Paul VanP and Nev assembled (see Lucy, the Foss recall was tested but not defeated!).  Boof and Bruce formed the front of house for the long train to slip out of suburbia, the same old shortage of volunteers for the up line plucked at the heartstrings of Wozz & I to donate our early services on leg 3, 20 km/h worth of headwind a right old slap in the face to Mitchell Rd.  Kenworth and Lucy showed the fortitude of an early appearance, it would be a rare thing to get a second turn at the pointy end with a cast of Ben Hur proportions today.  Yet another stunner sunrise cherished, recalling the months of gloomy grey from last winter. 

A seemingly younger and more aerodynamic BigMat (no longer hampered by hirsuitness) had made a rare appearance, FDC's Troy, Pelly, Ralphy and inductee Bruce were minus BamBam but have they eaten Grumpy? Good to have Temple emerge from the flu bed and Paul is trying to lose the MTB lust by riding the (rusty?) road bike, but Cate, Car+Mel and Jen had dissapeared (snapped off the back of an oversized, accelerating pack, but teamed to tap out the lap in comfort).  It didn't take long to be promoted from the bunch back at the cypress trees, rotations rapid as we neared the Kinder, a succession of oncoming cars kept the tempo tied till Prentice Rd.  It's another world to be 6th wheel as the sprinters wind up the wattage, climbing up the cogs in their draft (56 km/h) was prime real estate but no hope of coming close as Boof, Rocket and Nev hit the boost button to the line.

2/2

It's refreshing to break the routine of an early Thursday circuit and savour a standard six am start.  Goats gathered (Sandy, AvantiAndy, Principal Skinner, Jen, Joe, HG, Hommy, Temple, Brendy, Heady, Phil, Tina, Belly, Coggo, JB and DeepFry) to egress east from Friars, helped by a hint of a WSW'er but cooled by 12 degrees. Hommy behaved when I reached the front in Old Dookie Rd, keeping wheels level a rarity almost worth a photograph!  Orange and pink streaked the sky putting purpose into this early addiction, Belly, Coggo and Temple tapping a temperate tempo south on Boundary Rd but Principal Skinner had already coveted the caboose.

Heads lowered a little into River Rd's southwester, HG knuckled down to duty at the front, but Coggo was keen to dish up the distress.  I plugged the abyss at HG's plea, his habit of leaving a yawning gap hindering a chance of catching my draft.  The bunch eventually condensed, a steady crank through Central Kialla and onto Mitchell Rd westward before my turn beckoned beside Phil (and his philharmonic wheels) out of Dave's dip.  The wait at the highway was welcomed by many followed by a chorus of groans getting wheels rolling again with chains still wrapped in the big gears (my cog of choice).  Beside Coggo to Roubaix I studied the sequence in a forecast of who may be lumbered the lead-out for Conrod straight, predictions not possible as the drivers dwindled and shifts shortened to Arcadia Downs.  As sure as eggs, it was going to be me at the business end at Conrod's first dip.....roll the turn and risk being boxed in or stretch the pack to sort the sprinters and snoozers?  A momentary "yeah, nah, but" then option two was chosen, full boost for 400 metres till breakfast almost reappeared, Coggo, Belly, Temple, Jo and Phil in tow given my elbow to thrash the last 300 (nice work Coggo)

3/2

Nick, Bo, AvantiTrev, BigMat, Bruce, Troy, Kenworth, Pelly, Ralphy, Jen, Pistol, Wozz, Grumpy, Car+Mel, SuperMario, Rocket, Boof, Chops and Paul VanP lined up for Friday's frolic, Paul piloting the peloton peacefully to the bridge but front phobia had struck again, Rocket arriving from a 15th wheel pilgrimage to the front to aid Boof, the upline instigator.  Is it the tyranny of distance? (leg #1 = 3km), avoiding feeling like a donkey in the Melbourne Cup? (the fast fellas don't bite folks!) or just the blatant disregard for rule #5? (I'll bet the same drivers will be there next week)  Wozz, Pistol and Troy filled the other vacancies to propel the bunch to Mitchell Rd, pack chat centring on the comfort level of a bunch of 20 vs Wednesday's masses (reaction time multiplied by overpopulation equals hanging onto a bungee rope if you're at the rear).  AvantiTrev was a permanent part of the caboose furniture (recovering from the almost compulsory MTB crash), Troy had tickled the FDC's with tempo on the early loop (welcome back Grumpy!), BigMat was setting attendance records (WTF! 3 rides in a week!) as yet another picturesque daybreak threatened to ho-hum the experience. My once new Baum has now clocked a 20,000 kilometrestone without a hiccup, comfort in bucketloads a bonus.  After 20k's in the tow I finally got to slice the atmosphere at the front at Channel Rd's cypress trees in Car's cute company, Kenworth rolled a turn a k before the Kinder (love that tow big fella!) as a sprint conspiracy unfolded.  Boof, Rocket and Wozz were due for a very early arrival at the business end so swiftly single filed, Boof toasting himself to Prentice Rd towing Rocket to hit the boost till burnt, where Wozz launched to snare the chocolates, a co-ordinated crush of any hopefuls. Soaking up the social cruise home fuelled the endorphins to face another day at the salt mines.

Week 5.       261km.          YTD 1,229

Dziekuje ci Polska, pageview patrons aplenty! 

PS: Multumesc Romania & obrigado Portugal too.