Fossil's diary: Monday 14th March

Monday, March 14, 2011

Monday 14th March

7.00am. 16 degrees wind S-SSE 20-30km/h. 100km with 7. 29.3km/h average 39km/h max. A great (but windy) ride with a good crew. Coffee & cake at the bakery a fitting reward!

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Dictionary

Ashfault (aeshfo:lt) noun A pot hole
Bicognise (bi'kog'naiz) verb The familiarity of a person met in public, when perceived to be hunched in posture, disguised by helmet, glasses and lycra
Blinguist (blingwist) noun One who's conversation relies solely on expensive equipment, components and technical specifications
Blunch (bl>ntj) noun A peleton halted for a midday meal
Breezistance (bri'zistans) noun The force that opposes velocity against wind pressure
Cadunce (kei'dunse) noun A stupid crank speed
Caloride (kal-or-ryde) noun A cycling journey to wear off the excesses of beer, bacon or bakeries
Carbonaria (ka'bon:aria) noun A melodic tune played by an orchestra of Mavic's, Zipp's, Reynolds, TWE's etc.
Chainnointed (tj'einointed) verb To bear the greasy tattoo of a chain imprint on the leg
Cyclosis (sai'klosis) noun A mental disorder in which riding and reality is lost or highly distorted
Cyclost (sai'klost) noun A rider without bearings or direction
Cyclust (sai'clust) noun A person having a deep craving or appetite for riding bicycles
DisTNTce ('distens) noun The perceived (and often variable) length of a turn at the front of a bunch at the point of physical or mental exposion
Doonapped (doon'aep'd) verb Captured by warm bedding and held ransom for a higher temperature
Faarctic (f'a:rktik) adjective Extreme cold
Flast (flar'st) adjective The absolute maximum speed possible, yet crossing the line at the back of the bunch
Fortitube (f'or'tit"tju:b) noun The strength of a puncture resistant tube
Grratio (grrayshi'o) noun The gear you haven't got ; found between the one that overspins and the one that grinds
Headal (hed'l) verb The bobbing action of the skull brought on when the legs fail to provide sufficient power to the pedals
Hillness (hil'nes') noun An impairment of normal physiological function, characterised by polka dotted vision. Often aggrevated by riding ascents, cols and monts.
Intrider (in;trai'da) noun An unwelcomed addition to a peleton, usually of questionable skill and character and of usavoury etiquette
Legarthic (leg'arthi'k) adjective The sluggish, apathetic sensation of the lower limbs reluctance to provide adequate pedal performance
Lycrack (lai'krak) noun Aged synthtic cycling apparel material that has become partially and unsettlingly translucent (see also Lycringe, Lycreepy and Lycrass)
Lycrap (lai'krap) noun Cheap Chinese non genuine cycling apparel
Noctournal (nok'toor-nal) adjective Alert and active late at night, attracted to and feeding on live televised stages of the Tour de France / Giro d'Italia etc
Peletoon (pelle'to:on) noun An animated, humorous bunch of cyclists
Pilleton (pill;e'ton) noun A group of cyclists dependant on erythropoietin, Reactivan, Permoline, Salbutamol etc.
Reartired (ria'tiard) adjective No longer in active in bunch employment, a life of leisure (or hopeful of recovery) in the draft at the back of the peleton
Rideranged (ri'der'rein-jd) adjective A cyclist of questionable sanity
Sprinterloper (sprint'elowp;er) noun A rider who fails to contribute to bunch teamwork, yet intrudes into the contention for final victory
Sprinterred (sprin'terrd) adjective To bury oneself in accelleration in a race finish
Striva (stra'i;ver) A cyclist exerting much effort or energy in beating uploaded ride data on a shared website
Velocipied (vi'loss'i;peid) adjective Swooped by territorial magpies whilst cycling
Wheeliable (wi;l'aib'l) adjective A steady smooth rider to draft, worthy of being depended on
Windependant (win;di'pend-ant) noun 1. A neutral or autominous solo rider prepared to tough out breezy conditions 2 A cyclist who relies on tailwind 3. A rider who must finish in first place 4 A political person, not controlled by a party or lobby group but prone to hyperbole and rhetoric