A ventriloquist's trick?

Post #677

24/12 Seeking Santa.

An early chase to catch Wozza, Rocket, Boof and Byron was worth it for the free tow to Saturday's start, the draft a relief from facing the front in Archer Rd for the 482nd time! (Strava's segment records tell me I'm wearing out the tarmac).    The early Christmas gift of a 35 km/h slipstream made for a quicker commute; fingers crossed the bunch speed wouldn't be proportionally faster?  Festive attire was Saturday's dress code and many had conformed; PistolPete, Kim, Nev, Troy, Jen, Emil, Bruce, Rocket, Lenny, The Godfather, Tina, Grumpy, Lance, Trav, the 5ft Ninja, Greg and Bo lining Sanctuary Drive's edge in their festive finest.  Naturally, PistolPete commenced proceedings south, his sizeable Santa hat no handbrake on his velocity to Mitchell Rd.  

A slight south southwester wasn't cooling The Godfather in a full festive suit and Troy's tinsel was rubbing him up the wrong way.  Baubles, festive tunes and frivolity hadn't slowed the tempo from 38's though 15 degrees and the breeze (almost in our favor) kept things comfortable along River Rd.  The procession had sorted horsepower into appropriate groups (by chance?); Alpha males driving the train and those more meek in muscle arranged for a later appearance at the front. I was very confident of tempo being tamed when I reached the business end!  Tina ahead might calm the hurry but Lenny behind is in a different league.  Boof's nephew Byron needed guidance on the unfamiliar course but for most of us, this is very familiar territory (1147 attempts at the Broken River Blast might hint at my addiction).  Trav and Nev set the pace north on Boundary Rd.  A loud clunk of a chain onto the 11 signaled The Godfather's determination to equal Bo's drive toward the Toaster, the two terrors locked into a schoolboy-like battle for supremacy (these two need to be separated!)   

Camouflaged by long grass at it's roadside, New Dookie Rd's approach begged some caution, but Nev played forward reconnaissance.  Summer's usual northeasterly's promise help on the way homeward along Lemnos-Cosgrove Rd but today, strangely, a southwester would make us earn our breakfast. There was enough horsepower within the pack to make us earn it anyway! Jen, Tina and Kim got their time at the front on Lemnos-Cosgrove Rd with orchards sheltering them from the southwester, Tina and I in charge for the last k to Lemnos North Rd.  Ford Rd was part two for me to pair with Lenny, though 35's must have fouled his spark plugs with just a k covered.  Without so much as a micron of movement from my elbow, he rolled across and co-piloted with Pistol, picking up the tempo to 38's again.  

I made a note in the diary for Sunday to recover. 

Wattage assembled at the front again nearing suburbia and the chat soon silenced, heads went down and cadence went up for the watts wanted in Wanganui Rd.  How timely that those of weaker wattage were near the back - their only task was to hang on!  Speed was raised diplomatically on the Boulevard as the line lengthened turning Indian file, a decent draft for those of us down on the lower rungs of the labor ladder to keep in touch.  Acceleration out of Tarcoola's roundabout opened gaps at the back; Kim was losing grip of the caboose and several ahead had raised the white flag of defeat so I had a sense of purpose to gather up the pieces to tow them to the town hall.    Origami, hills vs flat, and what to do with dozens of worn out 52 metre long carbon fibre wind turbine blades kept conversation bouncing across the breakfast table.

26/12 The Boxing Day ballast.

Hoping the wheels wouldn't buckle under the load of yesterday's Christmas lunch (I really didn't need that extra two slices of turkey or the piece of Mum's pavlova on top of the plum pudding did I?).  The bike seemed sluggish on the roll to Tarcoola; let's hope Monday's start line was as sluggish as me, but I'll bet Bruce, Kel, Troy, PistolPete, Emil, Bo, BamBam, Lenny, The Godfather and Greg weren't!  (BamBam tucking into PistolPete's draft hinted he was stalling driving duty till later).  Troy wasn't afraid to co-pilot Pistol to Mitchell Rd and Emil's always eager for an early effort (he and Troy had plenty of hurry to Central Kialla).  

I had no complaints following Greg into the advance line half way along River Rd, 6ft 3" worth of slipstream was sparing me a lot of effort to hold 38's toward the quarter horse stud; I just hoped he'd be charitable when we teamed at the business end.  I doubt BamBam behind would punish me on part two.  Inseparable villains, The Godfather and Bo kept legs busy aimed at Coach Rd though Kel (feeling a bit dusty?) seemed to struggle alongside Greg to rooster corner.  (I'd make her turn look awesome)!  Paired with Greg bound for the Broken, I had a hint of northeaster as a handbrake although Greg was considerate keeping a lid on his horsepower.  

I called half time at the bridges and gladly accepted BamBam's apology when he called a short shift.  I completely understand that delivering a drive to others expectations 'aint always possible (and BamBam's fitness regime probably wasn't helping any sort of hurry).   He rolled across at Channel Rd with PistolPete playing diplomatically to the highway.  I soaked up the substantial slipstream.  A lot were looking forward to that northeaster easing the effort on Old Dookie Rd.  There was no surprise hearing of others over indulgence at  Christmas lunch but it hadn't slowed many from their usual velocity (I'd avoided the bathroom scales fearing the number would be a huge handbrake for the head).    

Bruce and Lenny led 9 toward suburbia, Bo applying the brute force on the squirt to SPC.  Finding caffeine for the post-ride recovery proved difficult with most cafes closed for the public holiday, the Scottish option only reinforced why the Butter Factory's favored.

27/12 Cruisy Tuesd'y.

The promise of a quiet tap made the motivation to get out of bed easy; the chance to clock a few k's below the thrash threshold is a rare thing (might be the company I keep?).  With only Tina, Emil and Kim at the shop, there'd be more than the usual one or two appearances at the front but a discount on speed should make it manageable.  

As sure as PistolPete pilots from Sanctuary Drive, Emil headed the first leg to the truck route at a considerately calm 32. Most squirrel starts are at full steam to stay at second wheel, so I'd almost shunted the La Pierre toward Kensington.  I was handed my standard Doyles to Orrvale shift, detecting the beginnings of an east southeast breeze, but at 15% off the regular pace there was plenty to take on the extra leg to the Kinder.  Sticking to the set speed was a good career move, Emil wasn't in the bad books, why should I be?  This steady tap at zone 3 wasn't half bad and enjoying a little sunrise scenery beats the blurred image at full steam too.  Kim had a grin like a Cheshire cat sustaining a shift under the red line to the cypress trees and Tina seemed to be in heaven driving long to Coach Rd.  Today was a good chance to fine tune the smooth drive (rather than be on the rev limiter) and build the endurance for the times we spin solo. 

 Just try sticking to a speed allowing just half a k variation; a test tougher than it sounds (particularly for the length of Bells Armstrong Rd!)  

Emil was back at the helm for Boundary Rd and a public holiday allowed a course via the Toaster as a change from the same old same old.  I got the eastbound bit of Old Dookie and that east southeaster as encouragement! (not so stressful with that discount on velocity)  North to the church was under Kim's command, Tina taking us to Lemnos-Cosgrove, though I caught a whiff of another epic effort from Emil thinking of the tailwind toward Lemnos.  

Pace could get a bit spicy with wind up the exhaust pipe but Emil showed great restraint keeping a cap on 34's. (Wonder what the reason was? Was he made an offer he couldn't refuse?)  If speed had a limit, distance didn't 'cause Emil had sights set on reaching Lemnos before I got another go (at least I wasn't cooked at second wheel)   A moments pause on Ford for Tina to tweak the blood sugar levels and I got the 3k drive to Grahamvale.  Kim did the driving to Verney and surprise, surprise, was allowed to spin south to Balaclava without one of Emil's take-over bids. He got the push of the pedestrian button though; that's not part of Kim's KPI's.

28/12 Nice northeaster.........not!

Hadn't seen KnightAndy for ages and he'd brought reinforcements to the mid-week spin. (KnightPaul).   The more the merrier (debatable) to battle Wednesday's nasty northeaster (17-30 km/h) and 24 degrees at stupid o'clock would raise a sweat too.  Emil, Lenny, Greg, Kim, PistolPete, Bo, Tina, Kel, The Godfather, Jen and the 5ft Ninja assembled to share the suffering around, PistolPete providing a lesson in labor to Mitchell Rd (tailwind enthusiasm?)  Heaven was now closed, the hurt was to come.  

With a little concrete in my constitution, I braved an early entry into the advance line while Emil partnered Pistol at the front; a quick calculation guessed I'd be with Lenny somewhere eastward on River Rd and that sounded easier than being hammered on a northbound shift.  KnightPaul had plenty of horsepower to drive north through Central Kialla, guided by KnightAndy (almost a local) along unfamiliar ground.  Paul's handy on hills I'm told so coping with this wind on pancake flat ground might be like climbing Hotham?  Torture time came for me at River Rd's bridge though Lenny was lenient, even offering a discount on part one to roll across a bit before the dip (I realised the reason quickly; that wind was brutal coming across the portside!) Tina was team-mate for part two so I could take a k or two off the tempo (I didn't count on her staying so long at the front with my tank running dry).   

Jen and The Godfather downgraded my drive to dismal as they powered toward rooster corner.  Greg and The Godfather fronted Coach Rd, needing a little encouragement to get the tail-end out of the gutter, me not so keen to transition to the advance line from the shelter of the left.  The Butter Factory's later opening at 7 prompted a Saturday circuit (the distance of no appeal to Jen, Tina and Kim who used Boundary Rd as a shortcut to Lemnos-Cosgrove) so the Knights steered us east toward the Toaster.  Was it wind or humidity that had me in zone 5 sitting in 3rd wheel?  Lenny saved me from facing the headwind by leading north to Lemnos-Cosgrove Rd but while I eased for all to get into line from the turn west, KnightAndy and Lenny had bolted ahead.  Andy was keen for conversation but being in zone 5 had me speechless to Pine Lodge creek.  The Godfather must have taken pity to stay alongside till Boundary Rd but when Bo rolled to the front, the half wheeling with The Godfather began.  41's was the new normal.  

Sustained 170's was taking it's toll (if I used the 220 minus age equation and discounted 10%, my limit should be 140!) but going ota wasn't an option, stubborness kept me glued to The Godfather's wheel.  Shenannigans calmed to 38's for Ford Rd but recovery seemed to be weeks away.  Legs like jelly secured me a place at the back in Wanganui Rd when 40's came back into fashion (but the bright side was that GiantAndy was with the shop squad).   I had little left at Rudd Rd's end so something had to be pulled from the hat when the Boulevard bolt was activated.  The magic was that I stayed in touch to Knight St, but became disconnected in Marungi.  Caught 'em at Welsford's lights though. 

29/12 A civilized spin. 

Half the temperature of yesterday and the wind had about-faced; why should we get consistency?   That's boring!  With Emil away, squirrels could play a peaceful lap, though only Tina, Jen and Lili took the advantage.  

After yesterday's thrash, this would be therapy.  The first shift was mine to drive, a south southwester not so inviting on the starboard side to the truck route, but there I could hand the reigns to Jen.  How civilized to enjoy a tow after a turn at zone three.  Lili was the odd one out today (more odd than riding at stupid o'clock?) on a tri-bike; the three month old Liv had failed with a fractured frame. Easily managed standard shifts built confidence to face the front, Lili and Tina completing their first contribution by the cypress trees so round two started for me earlier than usual.  Fronting up on a different shift broke the usual routine.  No objections to driving north with the south southwester (19-26 km/h) in our favor, all shared the pleasure at the posterior before work began for the way west on Lemnos-Cosgrove. 

Tina and Lili divided the distance to Lemnos so yet again, Ford Rd's first 3k's was mine to drive.  That civilized standard made it pleasant (for a change).  Jen did the Grahamvale to Verney bit but shied from the long leg to Balaclava Rd with the wind head-on.  Hats off to Tina driving the distance (unchallenged for the lead made a change!) to reach that (always) red light.  The pedestrian button was left alone, that's Emil's job! 

30/12  A Friday friendly.

Wrung out like a damp sock by weeks end, a slowish spin to Sanctuary Drive got the head in the right space even though the legs didn't want a bar of it. (Nothing a new engine wouldn't fix!)     If this Friday was fast, Foss would be f...........

A few had headed for the hills so the starting grid was a little light on at 5:39, The Godfather, Tina, Troy, Kim, Lenny and Greg led south by Pistol and Emil as 5:40 struck.  No point trying to get a late shift today, nine in the bunch would mean driving would be due soon; I just hoped for a compassionate co-pilot!  Luck had me avoid the south southeaster so all other directions should be easy, right?    Bo's absence meant The Godfather wouldn't be antagonized and many of the big guns were away expending energy into elevation so speed had settled into something like social.  The caboose had no squatters and all advanced for some sort of contribution to the average speed, me joining the advance onto Kim's wheel headed to River Rd with Troy on mine.  (The lad's in fine form but as far as I was concerned, he could save it to serve with the shop squad!)  Tina and Kim captained the bunch to River Rd's dip and pairing with Kim, I said "Call it when you're done" (here's me thinking a short shift was on the cards).  

That call was questionable when she was still delivering decent pace beyond the quarter horse stud........and saying nothing.  Feeling slightly toasted, I still had part two with Troy to drive.  Music to my ears when Kim called it quits half a k on though Troy's focus ahead seemed fixed on reaching rooster corner (haven't heard the bird of late, maybe he was Christmas dinner?)   Without many dramatics or Chewbacca impersonations, I made it to Coach Rd and lapped up the breeze at the backside to be towed north.  

Despite a quick 230 k's yesterday, Emil seemed eager to advance and head the way to Old Dookie Rd ('aint youth a wonderful thing?) with Pistol as his partner in pace.  The Godfather, Lenny and Greg still had their part two to play so confidence grew to join the advance again; safe to say my legs of dough might not be asked to deliver a drive again.   The Godfather's clear and concise call of "Clear!" at Central Ave must have been a ventriloquist's trick, the speed still social to the truck route under Greg and Lenny's watch but Emil's enthusiasm knows no limit when he stole the lead role and turned up the velocity to SPC. 

This week 335km

YTD 13,163km