Week 12 : Frustrating foibles

Post 389

18/3

Strangely solo on the spin south to Saturday's social circuit, Wozz and the grinning girls were on different missions today, so I could set my own (slower) pace.  The Godfather, Pistol, Rocket, Boof, Popgun, Nev, TatPaul, Cougar, TatMat, BigLen, MeridaAndy, Nick, Shorty, Jen, Tina, Temple, HBK, Bruce, Troy, BamBam, Jase and TrekTrev assembled in the carpark, Bo arriving to report Kel's puncture a k back. Pistol went to the rescue (Bo baulked) and soon returned with Kel in tow to set the train rolling. 

The pace was on, captained by Rocket and Boof, my turn for legs two and three partnering Bruce to the Kinder.  It was borderline armwarmer weather at 13 with a degree or two dropping near the channels, but Rule #5 applied.  It was hard to suss the breeze till turning into Boundary Rd, then the effort eased and the pace picked up, a south southeaster the Saturday gift for us all.  Spin Doctor, TrackStan and a couple o' Cats joined in in Old Dookie Rd, Saturdays seem to be an open house lately with guests almost equalling the party faithful.

The tempo was still on toward the Emu then west toward town, AvantiTrev's absence playing a part in the pace? (Does anyone remember the Saturday speed limit?)  Still spearing into the dark on Lemnos-Cosgrove Rd at 6:40, an oncoming (doona delayed) SuperMario u-turned to join in as we cast off the Cat caboose.  I was being promoted closer and closer to the front again, how come I'm given the wattage of Boof and Bruce to match?  The usual escapees exited Verney Rd for a calmer finish as I barrelled into the last leg of Ford Rd with Boof. Surprisingly, there was a clean cross of Numurkah Rd, I called a roll at Cleaves and prepared to hang on as 20 others moved up for massed motion. SuperMario's turn faded fast, the almost full rotation of the bunch in the following kilometre (it took 20k last time) put Boof, TrackStan and Rocket onto the Wanganui podium.  As always, the post ride breakfast was as good as the lap, sugar, heart attacks and the joy of fresh bread employing tongues at Lemontree's long table.



20/3
Bored witless by the same old circuits, I set off to the bustling metropolis of Congupna in the early hours of Monday, only one car to avoid but the tarmac acne (bitumen blisters) in the emergency lane (where we're meant to ride) were profuse.  95% humidity and 22 degrees steamed the sweat out of me with an east southeaster to make sure I cooked the calves.  Back to town in plenty of time, I had a suburban jaunt to fill the minutes before the Goat train of peace was due to depart.  Tina, Brendy, Phil, Cate, Jen, Spiessy, AvantiAndy, Vince, RidleySomebody and Belly headed out Old Dookie Rd (pegged for roadwork), speed was set at peace (possibly pain for others?) but no protests meant it was somewhere near right.  There were no tangles with the tame tappers today, well into the distance (earlier start?) kept things comfortable. 

Belly and I headed River Rds westward assault,  a little east southeaster helping to make peace pacy.  It was a Foss failure to recall RidleySomebody, but a social chat with Vince and Belly before making my departure at Rivers end.  A solo 12k back to town pondering the physics of balancing and traction on 10mm square contact with the asphalt and paused for a pic of the somewhat sinister sunrise in Archer Rd.  Soon daylight savings will grant us a few weeks of extra light that winter will quickly gobble up again.

21/3
Surrounded by the radar greenery on Tuesday made the decision easy to turn soft and have a day off the bike (a proliferation of punctures for those who did journey out apparently)

22/3
100% humidity had the frogs croaking Wednesday with a slim chance to slip under the bureau's green band and get a lap done. Finding Mel and Cate en-route, the power of positive persuasion was applied to Cate to bin the negatives, arriving at the carpark to join Chops, TatPaul, Bruce, Pistol, Weapon, Temple, ScottMat, AvantiTrev, BamBam, TrekTrev, Kel, Kenworth, Bo, Boof, Rocket, Nick, Col and Shorty, only three braving an earlier FDC thrash.   Col got the party started south on Archer, Bruce playing the pace police as the bunch stretched longer than a politicians hyperbole.  Boof and Rocket were the only volunteers to form an up line, and with no other takers 400 metres later, I moved up to make an example. Leg three (truck route to Mitchell) at the front attempting to keep pace with Rocket seemed endless, best to focus just a few metres ahead than the devestating distance to Mitchell Rd.  Chops did me a great favour calling an early roll eastbound, at last my recovery could begin.  Col's a smooth operator (quite comfortable in close company), but TatPaul's early days on two wheels needs a little sandpapering, Kenworth was relishing BamBam's draft, now he can experience what we all enjoy on his wheel. The Godfather chirped his usual shy sledge from the Cats crossing paths while AvantiTrev floated a Strava embargo to peg Saturdays pace......yeah, as if!  The Goat PainTrainers were swift on pace, I'd reached the rear (well recovered) as our bunch pointed north on Boundary, the sky blacker than Trav's Avanti, but would we stay dry? Steadily elevated closer to the front in Channel Rd it seemed I's score the tortuous task of chasing Rocket into the ChaCha (positive persuasion poured on me now) and sure enough, it was full steam into Kinder corner as Rocket squeezed the pack single file behind him at Hopeful corner, the carbon cacophony as his Zipps protested the pace, all chasing the draft as he powered to Prentice Rd.  I was blurring at the edges when his elbow signalled my turn, a short burst at 53 km/h all I could muster till Boof blasted by to embarass my effort.

23/3
Tempted to Turtle thrash Thursday, a warm-up en route (in expectation) turned into a tour de street so I didn't grid to the sound of crickets.  The carpark had Jase, HBK, AvantiTrev, KillkennyPaul, TrekTrev, Cougar, Temple and Bruce parked with foreigners again (MrMagnet and Fred) maybe to measure their masochism?   The 5:40 exit shuffled the grid placings, putting me on HBK's wheel (think he was hoping for a perambulating partner) with Jase breathing down my cassette.  Bruce and TrekTrev opened proceedings, HBK ramped up leg two, so who was I to deny him pace?  ChrisA made a welcome addition at the school, my wattage waining for leg three (Jase is tough on tempo but I was glad to hear his gasps by Prentice Rd.)  AvantiTrev and Mr.Magnet heaved on the hindering handbrake at the cypres trees, 7 k's sliced off the pace gave many a chance to draw breath (and for a few to babble).  KillkennyPaul braved a few turns despite his lengthy lay-off, TrekTrev applying ten tenths to match a tuned Temple.   Frequent freewheels and riding off line is a frustrating MrMagnet foible (infecting some others), true comfort found only in skilled company I'm afraid.  Turning into River Rd we'd caught and absorbed Hoges into the bunch, monstering his single speed MTB with mud tyres howling under sufferance. Temple then HBK, Jase and I poured punch into the pace (the sweet sound of carbonaria  crushing conversation!), Hoges now seeking a tow from Jase which delivered me a diabolical draft.  TrekTrev turned himself inside out to pace with Temple out of Dave's dip, the body language translated pain but his determination was admirable. HBK and I applied more tempo gently out of Roubaix corner to keep him in touch, many now colonising the caboose.  Bruce buried himself at the front into Conrod straight and drew two lines into one, Temple and TrekTrev followed suit as I hid in HBK's draft in wait.  I was almost ready to pounce when Jase launched the attack at 300 to go, it took a lot of jellybeans to get on his wheel but I callled "yours" at the 50 mark, remembering the lead-outs he'd gifted me.

24/3
Time to step out of my comfort zone and thrash in the PainTrain Friday, so off to Friars I found Coggo, Dipper, AvantiLeigh, AvantiAndy and Tum (arriving at the third stroke).  Belly attached on the roll-out, and with boiler stoked and a good head of steam, we cleared the Doyles Rd roundabout in the fourties.  BigLen  and MeridaAndy were handy additions at Dobsons, AvantiLeigh driving leg two to Central Ave.  Feeling fairly fit, I took the reigns almost to School Rd, a little shy of the usual target to leave something in the tank for the task ahead. BigLen and MeridaAndy barrelled into Boundary Rd, some serious internal cognitive behaviour therapy going on in my cranial clinic as another turn loomed large for me.   A pause for trucks on the highway let lungs refill, then back to business for my drive to Channel Rd.  Aknowledgement for effort is great for the mental motivation but the lungs and legs needed more than just kudos. A big bunch of red leds ahead spurred the speed in River Rd, I got another go on the super smooth tarmac approaching the dip which at least made me feel like I was going fast!  Pheromones of felines flared the Goat nostrils in Central Kialla, Belly and AvantiAndy returning to the driving mix.  We'd caught the Cats tail at Archer Rd but waited respectfully for oncoming cars to clear.  51 bolted by in Dave's dip, MeridaAndy working the wattage to lead a Goat charge likewise.  Traffic halted us at the highway as 51 dissapeared into the distance, the felines now parked on our tail.  The Goat end went single file out of Roubaix as the Cats congregated in the caboose, I felt the pressure on the front to Galbraiths but a greater pressure as Cobbles and The Godfather crowded the Goat tail when I'd peeled off the front (but I held Andy's wheel to avoid a Cat swamping)  The Godfather let loose with 400 left of Conrod and I grabbed Cobbles draft, MeridaAndy took the chocolates as the Godfather backed off in the dying metres.  3rd behind Cobbles was sweet for me to end the lap with a 39 average (what would it be without the two halts?) and end the week on a high.

Week 12        221 km         YTD 2,960 km   

Week 11: The sweet sprint spot

Post 388

Away on a long weekend (with the bike of course!) I scored a berth in Ballarat's Myer bunch on Saturday, a change to the habitual Couldabeens crank.  23 fronted at 6:30 (larger than usual I'm told) to exit town, a bit out of my comfort zone being in the dark on route, speed, protocols and distance, but there's nothing like a challenge eh?

Unaccustomed as I am to the ups and downs of rolling hills, I found myself coping rather well, surprisingly not the asthmatic wreck blown out the back of the bunch, but plugging away midfield (in the big dog of course) en route to Wattle Flat.  The large proportion of young blood was a little intimidating but at least they were respectful to the elderly, spearing through the dark on a thin strip of tarmac snaking uphill and down dale through the heavily treed Glen Park, passing rustic ruins (worth revisiting in daylight).
A long downhill to the Creswick-Dean Rd maxed the Garmin at 59 clicks, but with every downhill lurks a payback.....the toil of the climb uphill.  Ascending through a ferny forrest as the sun crept to the horizon made pleasant scenery to distract from the hurt, the front runners kindly pausing at Dean for the stragglers to rejoin before tackling the Dean-Newlyn Rd. 

Potatoes prospered in the dark red soil, the sun peeking above the hills to guide us onto Long Swamp Rd to Rocklyn, then a left onto Blampied-Mollonghip Rd taking us up to the Midland Highway.  The keen tapped toward Clunes as I joined Rob, Graham, Col and Ross taking the short route (80k) back along the ribbon roads of undulating countryside via Allendale, Ascot and BaldHills.  A long straight stretch on Gillies Rd took us toward Ballarat, joined in the last 10k by the Yabbie Divers (Ben, Nick, Darren, Brendan, Kanga, Shane, Josh, Nick and Haggis) with the customary sprint for town lines.  

I was welcomed to join the crew for post ride socialism at cafe Lekker, Strava analysis, sledging and tall stories the stuff of all bunch babble, coffee and shared plates of toasties de rigeur with this lot. 

 

13/3

Another morning of mystery on foreign soil Monday, a solo spin from Creswick at 6, northwest out of town on an unknown climb (judged only by the reach of the CatEye's lumens), certainly a heart starter for this flatlander climbing 280 metres to Springmount in the first 5 k.  

I had a new appreciation for the almost level ground to Spring Hill, the half light at 6:30 showed low misty cloud capping the hills surrounding Kingston, a long gradual decline pumping up the speed and the ego with plenty of rabbits darting about in the dark.  A sharp left onto W Berry Rd, the rises and falls towards Clunes picked up a light mist nearing Allendale while trying to keep my bearings southbound on the thin track of Creswick-Lawrence Rd past Broomfield.  A swing onto Gillies Rd put me back on familiar (Saturday) territory, the long southbound stretch beside Mt Hollowback to Bald Hills and beyond, still with a few ups and downs to lift the effort, my usual focus on average speed forgotten in lieu of cresting the rises.  I veered left through Sulky and along another ribbon of tarmac to the Midland highway, then north with the pleasure of a tailwind but the work of an uphill back to Creswick to earn my breakfast. With the respiratories rapid on the rise, the pong of roadkill didn't help, but a brew reaching Creswick's 'Bean & Barrow' topped off 50k nicely. 

14/3

It was a pleasure to be back on the homeland flatlands Tuesday, a calculated cruise to the carpark (to avoid the first shift) but there was only Jase, Cougar, HBK and AvantiTrev tempted to Turtle tap.  Single file was the unspoken and understood formation, Jase doing the honours of the first leg.  I had the short half draft of AvantiTrev till my turn from Orrvale Rd to the Kinder.  HBK did a double shift to the S bends, kick starting a long drive habit for all (but a wary eye on Cougar keeping hold of the caboose).  AvantiTrev ground out Boundary Rd on the front, I was spurred on to do the first half of River Rd to the dip while HBK tackled part two. (must be some sort of weird male measuring mindset, sizing up your competition?)  Cougar bailed out via Archer Rd but four fought on, calculating the turns to Conrod, I reckoned a long drive to Galbraiths gate might put me in the perfect pozzie.  HBK took us to Conrod's kink, Jase shouldered the load for 500 metres to give me the last 400 and the honours. 

15/3

Finding a flat just minutes from launch time puts haste to the forefront, but a wriggle on got me back on agenda to grid with Grumpy, Shorty, Kenworth, Mel, AvantiTrev, Troy, Pelly, BamBam, Cate, Wozz, Pistol, Temple, Trav, Nev, Weapon, Ralphy, Kel and Bo for Wednesday's whip around. A northeaster told me to get a turn in early to avoid the headwind, but many had the same idea filling the up line.  HurtLocker was trimmed to a trio at Central Kialla, Cats were late on the River Rd westward procession, a new course and start (Old Dookie Rd roadworks) put them down the list.  The Goat PainTrain progress was pacy, prevailing winds and the whiff of catching Cats had their hammer down.  I'd fluked the preferred position of AvantiTrev ahead and Mel behind to limit my tempo tax, many others shortening their turn feeling the breeze on the brow.  All my stars were aligning in Channel Rd, the breeze behind, bludging at the back with just a k till the ChaCha and in Kenworth's tow couldn't be better. Sentences stopped, heads lowered and heart rates heightened in a cadenza of cranking to the Kinder, Kel and Bo delivered us to Prentice Rd for Kenworth to turn up the torque, my dream sit to the 200 metre mark was just textbook.  Out of the copious Kenworth current, I throttled the thighs and crucified the cranks to take a rare win, though Pistol made it hard labour nipping at my wheel in the dying metres.

16/3

Missing the motivation to tap an early lap Thursday, I succumbed to the sloth of a salubrious sleep-in till 5:15, then a slow paced preparation to join the group 'o Goats (Belly, PrincipalSkinner, Dipper, Phil, Heady, Sooty, Bickers, Sandy, Spiessy, HG, Hommy, HBK, Joe, Temple, Tina and many-months-missing-much Comet!)   A straggling start split the herd into 3 as I had a bit of effort dragging some dawdlers back to the bunch in Old Dookie Rd, but some semblance of order resulted in the rotations.  Much Goat gloating amongst the PainTrainers from Wednesday's Cat attack, Sandy was speedoless, Heady extolling the virtues of self flagellation (training PainTrainless), Bickers had engaged his cloaking device and HG's huge hangback hindering anybody behind. A balmy 22 degrees in Boundary and a tailwind propelled the pack south, the weight of responsibility resting on me to call the highway intersection traffic.  It's nice to work with the echelon educated, the northeaster attacking the starboard bow had us fanned across River Rd with Belly driving to the 40's, poor Comet caught behind HG's hangback deserved my delay to draft a delicious damsel in distress. Eventually back into the formation, I was soon promoted forward, Sooty and I captaining the crew from the bridge to Rivers' end. Alas, time to take my leave and battle the headwind home, back to setting speed standards (31+) on level ground.

17/3

 

A stiff southerly (24-37 km/h) sorted the die hards from the bed warmers on Friday, I was ready for a lie down after just 5k's of headwind hell getting to the carpark! Bruce, Wozz, Boof, Troy, Rocket, Pistol, Nick, Kenworth, Chops, Cate, Kel, Bo, Nev and Cats Col and Avanti-not-MeridaJohn assembled for action at 6, Chops bearing the brunt of the breeze to take the bunch south on leg one.  Only the brawn and the brave formed the up-line into the brow-beater, Rocket and Pistol driving unperturbed and unabated to Mitchell Rd.  Col and Avanti-not-MeridaJohn were along on a respite from the catty felines, the social sentence swapping getting well underway with the wind at our side in Mitchell Rd. Despite the wind whipping at our wheels, it got easier closer to the front in River Rd, almost a calming crank beside Bruce beyond the dip in the right lane,  though it's not nice to be greedy so I shared the workload around.  Cobbles and The Godfather turned into River Rd as we exited it, the usual shy retiring vehement sledge delivered in his unmistakeable tone, they were well clear of a thin line of late Cats slogging south on Boundary, but not a Goat in sight.   We caught and absorbed Manny and Carl into our pack at the Broken Bridges, spitting chips at being left PainTrain-less from a mass abandonment (concrete needed in the Goat feed trough?)  Dissecting the orchards and vegetable plots along Channel Rd's 8k length gets the troops excited for the thrash of the ChaCha, though the Cats were possibly in the dark on its location (they know now!).  I was almost in the sweet sprint spot like Wednesday, except Rocket, Manny and their swift associates swept by, five gasps beyond Prentice Rd.  Ah, reality deals a savage blow!

Week 11:   278km                 YTD 2,739km

Week 10 : a peloton prostitute?

Post 387

4/3

Perfect conditions for another Saturday population explosion ; windless, a mild 16 degrees and a weekend ahead had Wozz, Car+Mel, Cate and I expecting a carpark cram (or can't people resist the Couldabeens awesomeness and modesty?).   5 Cats (MeridaJohn, Clive, Dalts, Huggie and LegalSteve) had arrived early (for a tow to the Cat pack?), Len and MeridaAndy were along for a few early k's but the party faithful (Shorty, Nick, TatPaul, Popgun, Tina, Boof, Bruce, Leah, Tum, Cougar,TrackStan, Pistol, Rocket, Temple, TrekTrev, Jen, Avantiatrev, Trav, Kel, TrekSam and the Godfather) squeezed in.  

There was a forced separation again (in the hope of getting at least one turn at the front and to clear course congestion), bunch one (19) and two (14) launched a few minutes apart.  I'd been put into bunch one again (Shorty, Nick, TatPaul, Wozz, Cate, Tina, Car+Mel, Popgun, MeridaJohn, Clive, Dalts, Huggie, Bruce, Leah and Tum) collecting early lappers BamBam, Ralphy and Jase as we approached the Kinder.  The Cats rolled through to donate to the drive, a birdie tells me they've been cooked in recent rides (Couldabeens calmer?)  Leah's back with a gritty resolve, KillkennyPaul found solo in Boundary Rd, TatPaul seems to be running on 5 cylinders while Boof was running at half throttle to save speed for a swim.

 Deja vu from last week as Wozz and I drove the last leg of Ford Rd, a little bitty breather before the fast finish in Wanganui Rd.  Peak hour in Numurkah Rd, a minute motionless waiting for traffic to clear had bunch 2 park at our tail, a massed and messy finish not on my menu. A break in the traffic let 10 through, all systems go to spare a sprint swamping.

With a line of Indians behind, Wozz worked the wattage to DECA, Shorty followed up fast while I felt like a freeloader, time for my turn at the test track.  Enthusiasm drove me a bit hard leaving a gap behind, no way I'd last 700 metres at this rate.  I was soon swamped by Wozz, Tina and Mel, one last lunge at the hill (Wozz riding off into the distance) to pick up a place was dashed withTrackStan, The Godfather and MeridaAndy pouncing from bunch two to pick up the crumbs on the line.   Foss vs Hommy, Chinese lycrap, social media and reality televisions erosion of morals enveloped the ever lengthening Lemontree breakfast table for post ride postulation. 

6/3
I was on a peace keeping mission Monday, a Hommy harmony if you will after last weeks high jinks. ApprenticePete, Principal Skinner, Spiessy, Cate, Spartacus, Cindy, Phil, AvantiLeigh, Sandy, Hommy, Tina, AvantiAndy, Jen, Brendy, Belly and Vince filtered into Friars for a frangible foray to start the week. Twas a cruisy crank east on Old Dookie Rd in a smooth sandwich between Tina and Jen, Hommy at one end of the bunch and me at the other (keeps the troops calm).  The even more peaceful tame tappers were caught at the Pub, Mr.Magnet, Simon and Doc amongst the few.  So why would some mix with the Goat group when a Channel Rd exit was planned just a few hundred metres later? 

Panic, brakes and near misses in the melee later, all emerged upright and unscathed from the calamity, a WTF moment way too early in the week for me. Back in the comfort zone of rotating with familiar folk on River Rd, Coggo catching us from a late start chase, Roscoe joining in from a lazy start from the west, Vince gently back on the bike post leg surgery, but the social stimuli soon ended, time for my exit via the truck route and Archer Rd home. With a hint of daylight breaking, there was  just the lengthy slalom through town avoiding the debris in the never-maintained bike lane.

7/3
ScottMat was flatflustered berthing at the Tuesday Turtle grid, a puncture on the new rig two minutes before launch time put pressure on his pitstop.  A CO2 seal blow-out then a short-valve-in-a-deep-rim dilemma entertained us, but was finally fixed and underway, four minutes closer to the jaws of the Hares behind.  Jase, Shorty, Nick, Cougar, HBK, TrekTrev, and AvantiTrev made up a Turtle ninesome, ScottMat and I driving leg one, HBK turning up the wick beside me for leg two to Orrvale Rd (but surprisingly stayingly level with my wheel. Well, I never!) Jase and Shorty took the reigns to the cypress trees, passing a pair of Hares preparing to catch the 5:50 express. A light southerly (7-9 km/h) made its presence felt in Boundary Rd, pushing the limits for 1200 metres beside ScottMat was a workout, but the niggling natter at the back from non-contributors rattled my cage, so harder on the gas in River Rd to silence the superfluous sentences.  We'd almost reached River's dip when a dozen Hares line astern powered past. ScottMat and I took on the headwind yet again in Central Kialla, but Jase was next to roll up, HBK now in hiding (hurting).   Down to the highway and building speed for Raftery Rd the luck of the draw looked like it was work for me in Conrod straight.  Nick dialled up the tempo at the last kink as Conrod opens its length, Shorty tucked in and I'd hoped to get a share of the draft but was locked out of the left line.  Nothing for it but to light the afterburners early and see what evolved. I hit the front out of the first dip carrying a fair speed but slicing the virgin air emptied the tank quickly, 500 metres later Jase and Shorty pounced from my draft for the one two, my glance back finding a lot of real estate to the remaining half dozen.

8/3

All stops out exiting town Wednesday, a tailwind had Pistol and Rocket excited but a few were in difficulty holding onto the tail. BamBam, Wozz, Nev, Boof, Trav, Weapon, Kenworth, Grumpy, Ralphy, Mel, Kel, Bo, Shorty, AvantiTrev, ScottMat, Cate, Bruce and Nick made up a long tail behind, Bruce bolting to the front to police the pace.  All were collected into the fold, I made my way to the up line finding myself the follow up to Boof and the windbreak for BamBam, guessing where I'd hit the front and preparing mentally for the masochism....of course, the hurt of a headwind in River Rd!  Boof was gracious allowing me a slightly shorter shift, delighted when BamBam requested the same abbreviation (he was fresh from a FDC flogging), it was a delight in the draft to de-stress and deliberate.  Shorty was the cat from Cheshire in Channel Rd, finally free from the Kinder curse sitting midfield in the left line at the cypress trees, Mel and Cate exempt from the early ChaCha effort too.  It was my turn for torture swinging left at the Kinder with Boof, I pulled the whip out to Hopeful corner to get around him and, feeling fairly fit flogging the fourteen at fourty five, thought "let's workover the wannawins to make 'em worthy".   There was an eternity to Prentice Rd till Grumpy came up and over, the kick to catch his wheel wasn't necessary, he too had been FDC fried afore.  Waiting respectfully for a gap in the up line was fruitless, the whole bunch sailing by with the finish line within sniffing distance.  Chat chat on Channel to town, a turn toward home but it was kaboom for Kenworth blowing out a sidewall on a stone.  That trusty 50 x 25mm strip of canvas in my kit came to the fix fore, but boom again a half k later on the next sharp bump. 

9/3

I don't know what fires the urge to push the solo tempo, but Thursday's want for an early slog to the Emu, the Toaster, then back to town wrestled with complaints from the departments of legs, lungs, heart and head.  The man with a hammer loomed close with an ESE'er pestering progress to the Emu, time for a heartrate holiday in zone 4 to the Toaster, then to pump up some pace back to town.  Coggo, Heady, Phil, AvantiLeigh, Tina, Joe, Sooty, Jen, Hommy, HG, AvantiAndy, Sandy, Snow, HBK, Temple, The Speech, Spiessy and MeridaAndy filled Friars for the Goat grid, 18 shuffling and sorting into two lines to clear town.  I'd scored Sooty ahead and The Speech behind, it's always interesting / daunting / amusing / horrifying (strike out that which does not apply) pairing with a fellow cyclust for the first time, maybe it's a bit of primal/tribal passive/aggressive measuring up at the front, but The Speech rides a good line and length, albeit with a competitive flavour.   HG's hang back is harrowingly huge, six lengths at one stage staggering the squad.  MeridaAndy has been the peloton prostitute of late, offering himself around to any bunch that will take him.  The tempo turned up turning south on Boundary Rd, Sandy (sleepless), snuck into the caboose not to snooze but to survive, Heady was suffering the side effects of OTAitis from Wednesday's Pain Train, birthday girl Tina awash with the endorphins surviving it. I was up to the pointy end again at River Rd's kennels as The Speech cranked up the competition, taking great care that I stayed level as the speed grew toward the fourties.  HG exited to the caboose, I exited to Archer as impending employment drew me homeward.

10/3

It was a frivolous Friday with many in a cruising mindset, the Troyless FDC's even having a quiet lap. (Heaven forbid!)  Grumpy, Mel, Chops, Boof, Rocket, Pistol, Kenworth, Trav, BamBam, Ralphy, Shorty, ScottMat, Wozza, Jen, Nick, Temple, Nev and Bo teamed up to tap south on Archer, almost to the Sanctuary roundabout when an i.q. starved tradie stormed in ahead, slammed on the brakes and swerved to exit right (almost emptying the ute contents). Obviously three seconds wait time was just too precious.  Theatrics over, the bunch business resumed to Mitchell Rd, the slowly declining temperature (13) chilling the skin.  Long weekend plans occupied much of the chat but some sentences on ScottMat's new steed put the important things into perspective. (Rule #4 folks, rule #4).  Around the usual circuit with the passing parade of pelotons pushing clockwise, a long Goat train making pacy progress (into River Rd before we'd reached its end).  The Channel Rd procession moved me ever closer to the pointy end, just managed to finish a turn at the front as the Kinder came into view.  We rounded up a crawling car (with a questionable trailer and loose load), the sprint on in earnest (for those interested), but many chose to sit it out.  Boof picked up a bindii hitchhiker in the sidewall, cleverly left untouched to limp home, my day off allowing an epilogue of caffiene with the lasses and a long-time-no-see catch up with Kylie, Meags, The Fox, Fee, Wizz and Sosso. 


Week 10.     255km.           YTD 2,461km

 

Week 9 : Hommy's harassing habit

Post 386

25/2
A stiff southerly will cull a carpark crowd, doona diving would be the preferred past-time of the soft today I pondered during a reversed Saturday breakfast (toast first, cereal later).  So, who must ride before breakfast and who must breakfast before a ride? Numbers seem split down the middle.   Straight into zone 4 to commute south at 5:45, sharing the 25-35 km/h southerly saga with Wozz, taking bets on attendance.  Surprisingly, the Couldabeens carpark congregation contained Shorty, Rocket, AvantiTrev, Temple, HBK, Lucy, TrekTrev, Bo, Lenny, Kel, The Godfather, Bruce, Leah, BassoDan, Tina, TatPaul, BeerMat and Nev, 20 a preferred pack to splitting the masses of previous weeks (and kinder on my memory recall)    A tame tap alongside TatPaul got leg one done (without knives in the back), leg two with Wozz whipped up the mid thirties, and still the Channel Rd gravel patches send a shiver of traction terror through the troupe.  Wheels sung in the roaring fourties along Boundary Rd, there's nothing like a breeze up the bum to inflate the ego (till the next turn!)   The drivers into Old Dookie Rd vs the brakers in Boundary were poles apart, Leah caught on the back foot went uncerimoniously OTA, but Bruce returned to her aid. (It was a regrettable ride ritual for our rookie, hope it doesn't deter the determination Leah)  

FDC's must be on a ride Ramadan, I conveyed kudos for Kel' s cute kit, BeerMat was actually riding without the attraction of post ride beer, Tina two tapping a Couldabeens / Goats double, Nev's knee niggling and Shorty almost unrecognisable in a new kit.  Mt. Major's magic horizon is now almost veiled by darkness signalling Autumn lurks to keep us cool and set off the plague of doonitis.  There was a tack and jibe to tackle the breeze in Lemnos-Cosgrove Rd to return to town, nine cool culled Cats cranking east at the main eastern channel.  I'd scored a prime position by Ford Rd, about to do a turn approaching town with a minute or two to draw breath before the Wanganui workout.  Rocket set the bar high with a demonic drive in the fourties to DECA, Wozza poured on a pickling performance but all had Indian filed behind.  I was losing my grip on the fast freaks at the front, The Godfather, Bo, Lenny, Kel and co with the wattage to pass, mentally murdered my mindset.  Th rehab of recovery in Rudd Rd was bliss, and on landing at the Lemontree, Weapon joined in the philosophical philology on spelling and the english language, performance pressure and interviews with musical comparisons discussed over granola , yoghurt and berry (part two of my backward) breakfast.

27/2
The push to the Emu at 5:15 murdered Monday's legs, a mere 10 km/h ENE'er escalating me rapidly into zone 4, retaliation for a rideless Sunday?  Solo's have been scarce of late, high time to get out of the peloton protection program and h.t.f.u.  The relief I'd hoped for turning to the Toaster had vapourised, that Dookie demon (the one that changes wind direction when you turn) had struck, subtracting the north from the northeaster.  Old Dookie Rd offered the salvation of a tail breeze while I contemplated a Cats crank or a Goats gait, time and rule 5 chose the feline factor, subsequently found at Central Ave.  I blended into the bunch of Shane, Car+Mel, BigBen, Dion, Wongy, The Godfather, Tina, Jodie, Paul VanP and co, still rusty on the rolling turns I was sandwiched between Tina and The Godfather, guess I'll cop curses  if I make a shambles of it.  Lil'Tony, Cobbles, Sherls and Col joined from their idle in Boundary Rd, Car+Mel took a Channel Rd coffee exit as Pistol Pete slotted into the rotation.  Pace picked up south of the Broken bridges, rhythmic rotations ripping through the k's (or maybe the light easterly gave that impression?)  Retirements became popular over the highway, negatives brewing in my head proportional to speed, forcing a mass of mental digging to keep fronting the rushin' front.  There's a point where messages from heart, lungs, legs overpower the will, into Conrod's first dip was the end for me, superior speed (& youth) told me I'd done my dash. I was dragged over the finish line, but 65k before 7 and a 161 suffer score was my excuse. 

28/2
Despite the push beside TrekTrev on leg one, my Garmin refused to budge from 30.4 km/h, in the dark on pace and with pride of pace dented, a reboot was the salvation of speed and success.  The Turtles turnout terrific Tuesday, Shorty, Temple, SuperMario, Cougar, AvantiTrev, Jase, Cate, HBK, Ralphy, Jed, TrekTrev, Kel, FeltMat and Bo made it a record recruitment, maybe 17 degrees and a favourable breeze was the inspiration, but watch this space (and the grid spaces) in July!  A red led ahead challenged a chase, the swift, smooth, svelte silhouette of Weapon (aboard the TT Avanti) eventually caught at the S bend.   Pointing into the darkness of Boundary Rd (sianara Summer!), turtle interns Ralphy and Jed were line astern (for reasons that would become clear later), SuperMario and AvantiTrev maintaining their moderate momentum.  Craig Lotsalumens still grinds River Rd with two led lights blazing, but now sports flashing fork lights for f#@& sake!  Temples performance of late warrants a post ride sample, Weapon and Cate paired for a determined drive at the dip, I had TrekTrev to match for the last of River Rd but a mechanical demon slowed his start into Central Kialla.  A brief single filed slow till the problem was sorted, then back on the gas to Mitchell Rd with time made up to the highway, a rare clear passage the reward.  There were plenty of players for pace to Arcadia Downs, I got my turn done by Conrods dip but was then boxed in as Temple and Bo took the front.  Jed and Ralphy attacked early passing Bo on blow-up, none wanted the chase challenge and by the time I had a clear path, Ralphy and Jed were well clear, third spot still a satisfying score for me though.

1/3   

The price for early arrival Wednesday was pole position, Paul VanP, Pistol, Rocket, Mel, Shorty, Temple, Cate, Weapon, Kel, Bo, Boof, Chops, AvantiTrev and Kenworth were smarter, arriving later.  Still, it wasn't so bad driving the first 3 k with a suggestion of a ENE behind, FDC's Wozza, Bruce, BamBam, Grumpy, Pelly and Ralphy (FeltMat mechanically missing) joined at the bridge, Rocket pairing with me (sympathetic with the speed) to form the up line.  The pace was applied in Central Kialla but I had joy in the tow midfield, gradually demoted by rotation to the rear I found myself perusing a pack of peculiar perverted pedalling proctologists, two rows of folk hunched forward carefully examining the posterior ahead.  There was a tiny hint of colour on the horizon, an impressive string of lights on Boundary Rd being the mid week PainTrain of Goats headed our way as we slowed at River Rd's end.  

Up to Channel Rd and with work west, 

Shorty caught the Kinder curse (wring out all your wattage at the front only to watch breathless as everyone you just towed sail past into the sprint distance) yet again, round the bend the tempo maxed as an attack from the back had Rocket, Wozz, Boof, Pistol et al power past in a ChaCha conspiracy.  The bunch stretched out longer that parliaments question time, Boof Strava scoring a fine 1:08 for the 1.1 k segment.   FeltMat approached us from the west, now minus mechanical misdemeanours, on a flash new e-tap equipped Scott (so FeltMat formerly AvantiMat but originally FeltMat is now ScottMat.....just to make things clear), the roll to town wishing Weapon many happy returns.

2/3

On the hunt for a little variety Thursday, I set a course via the golf course and the brand new Verney Rd tarmac as a foreward to the Goat lap, feeling rather primed of pace if I don't say so.   Coggo, Speissy, Tina, Bickers, Jen, AvantiLeigh, AvantiAndy, Dipper, Phil, HG, Sandy, Sooty, Spartacus, Hommy, Belly and Snow formed a seventeensome from Friars, but chains were dragging at the stroke of 6.  Even a quiet roll out of town had elasticised the pack, Hommy driving alongside me (well, his rear wheel and my front wheel were paired) to Dobsons eventually got the turns rolling.  Kudos was served to Dipper and AvantiLeigh on their Wednesday workout (40 average), great to see Sooty back aboard a bike (without an engine), HG still continuing his three bike length exclusion zone and AvantiAndy with growling brake issues.  We'd homed in on a small team of tame tappers (Jimbo and Doc recognised) at Old Dookie Rd's end, Spartacus driving the overtaking manoeuvre in Boundary.   Harassed by Hommy again (rule #86 and #88 infringements aplenty) at the fig farm was prickling my patience, but bit the lip as AvantiLeigh, Coggo and co took us to the highway and beyond.  Back to the front with Spartacus for River Rd and its niggling SSE'er, we'd rolled the turn as Hommy half biked up for act two, but my repose rattled like Michael Douglas in "Falling Down" as I let my legs answer his challenge with a savage serve of speed.  It was rather feral of Foss stretching the pack (and the friendships) approaching the dip, the consequence was a bunch well split in two, the culprit now camped in the caboose. Tina, Sooty, Belly, AvantiLeigh, Snow and I continued on, timely though at River's end to take my leave and exit via the truck route. Apologies were extended later, the banter suggesting all was well (and that Hommy's harassing habit won't change!) 

3/3

Despite a cruisy commute to the Couldabeens carpark, Cate, Mel & I were still first on site, so a sneaky  sidetrack toward the bridge for a minute had us seated midfield on our return.  Pistol, Bruce, Wozz, Boof, Kenworth, Nick, Temple, Troy, Jen, Chops, Kel, Bo, Rocket, Paul VanP, Shorty, Pelly and ScottMat swamped the shops' parking bays.  The bunch blast off at 6 speared south to exit town, quite the rubber band syndrome as we got up to cruising speed but Pelly punctured (his trifecta for the week) to give all an early intermission. At least there was communication about the halt,  ditching the silly silence system.  The restart was a smoother scenario, BamBam found lurking at the truck route.  20 km/h worth of tailwind at Central Kialla with Wozz and Pistol at the front made for maximum motion, my turn for masochism was in River Rd with Bruce (bridge to the dip) then with Bo for a k.  A long Goat pain train wheeled west, Boundary Rd blurred by, the lottery of Channel Rd ahead for us. Pistol charged the ChaCha at Hopeful corner drawing Wozz, Bruce, me and Bo in Indian file behind, Wozz wrung out the wattage when Pistol pickled, Bruce bolted and seemed to be odds on favourite till Troy and Paul VanP pounced in the dying metres to take the one two.  Coffee connoisseurs cornered south and workers wheeled north at Channel Rd's end, Cate cajoled and coerced a crack at the Crit sprint segment (tempted by tailwind?), Jen and Mel joining in for a week's end workout (and a PB as the week's dessert for me. 

Week 9.        262km.          YTD 2,206

Week 8 : Surreptitiously squeezing Semtex

Post 385

18/2

After last week's Beach Rd's bliss it was back to home soil, the delight of local pot-holes, coarse tarmac and man-hole covers in the bike lane for Saturday's circuit, thankfully Wozza's, Mel's and the Couldabeens company made up for it.  There was another population explosion at the carpark ; TrekTrev, Kel, Nev, Lucy, Rocket, BeerMat, Boof, Pistol, Temple, Popgun, HBK, Lenny, TatPaul, Cougar, TrekSam, TrackStan, TrekJack, MeridaAndy, BigLen, Jase, Shorty, AvantiTrev, The Godfather, Troy, Bruce, TatMat, Carl, Manny and Trav turning up......bigger than BenHur again!  Senesibly split into two peloton portions, I'd again berthed in the first group away (TrekTrev, Troy, Mel, Wozz, Lucy, Boof, Popgun, TatMat, TatPaul, TrekJack, TrackStan, TrekSam, Shorty and Cougar).  Led lights lanced the Channel Rd darkness, Wozza's attempt to silence the tattle with tempo somewhat unsuccessful.

The few part-timers and casuals in the bunch take away that family feel, there's something rather unsettling about a foreign erratic wheel amongst the familiar.  A substandard call at the pub for an approaching car split the pack, TrekJack (unfamiliar in peloton protocols) leapfrogging the queue on the regroup.  I'd been given a thorough half-wheeling by Jack up to Old Dookie Rd, TrackStan pairing more politely with me eastward but felt I was being tested on a long 3k slog to the Toaster.   Nath joined in riding a relic 7 speed (with rear pack rack), I was preoccupied with the breakfast menu while working west on Lemnos Cosgrove Rd and Ford.

TrekJack paired at the pointy end with me crossing Grahamvale Rd and hit the half-wheel habit again, this time rattling my cage enough to retaliate by driving harder when he attempted to roll early.  Peak hour traffic arrived early at Numurkah Rd causing a minute intermission, group two pulling up behind made for a massed attack on Wanganui hill.  Pace was poured on early when traffic cleared, stretching the bunch long (to shorten the odds?), Wozz whipped up the workload at the test track as I gradually moved toward the front with the hill looming large.  Motivated by Mel at my Mavic, I picked a line past the faded to get 5th spot, the roll along Rudd slowly regrouping the stretched pack.  

Supermarket stereotypes, carbon's fragility and a Couldabeens tour elsewhere was the breakfast babble at the Lemontree's long (15metres) table.

20/2

I questioned my squirt (predicting a perambulating peace train) around the golf course loop till a solitary bike in Wanganui Rd validated my 5:15 start, 7 degrees (feels like 4) was an early intro to winter though the Zwift softies wouldn't notice.  It was a treat to tap the new Verney Rd smooth tarmac (it would want to be at $1.6m per km) back to town, Hommy, Cate, Principal Skinner, Phil, Sandy, Ridley Craig and JB the scarce starters for Monday's ritual.  The easterly exit of town had Brown's Cows as a led lure ahead in Old Dookie to pump our pace to chase, Hommy habitually half-wheeling, PrincipalSkinner shooting a short shift, even Ridley Craig trying a turn (although a one and only).   We'd rounded up the meanderers at Old Dookie's end and set a course south on Boundary Rd, JB perched well over the back of the MrSheen'd Pinarello, Sandy calling it quits to the caboose while Phil, Cate, PrincipalSkinner, Hommy and I kept the boiler stoked in pursuit of more led's ahead (so much for the perambulating pace).  The westerly wore away some enthusiasm head-on in River Rd, four turns done at the front and it was my turn to depart to satisfy my employer.  It was a push along the alternative route, two passing trucks donating a delicious draft (albeit abbreviated) then northward home via Archer Rd, the past fortnight's post ride socialism now a distant memory. 

21/2

I had a breakfast of Kellogs Konfidence, it was Tuesday thrash day and how many / little would turn up?  Cate was keen to try the Turtles again, Nick, HBK, TrekTrev, Cougar, SuperMario, Jase, AvantiTrev, Bo and Kel turned up with the same intent (or most seemed to).  AvantiTrev preached a sermon on the (a)mount of noise generated calling at intersections (seems we were waking some) so a silent signal system was used to appease the critics.  I poured some urgency into a tame tempo on Channel Rd, FeltMat joining in to make us a dozen while I tuned out to HBK's half biking.  The muted crossing of Doyle's Rd went well but the caboose dragged till the gaps closed, Jase and HBK driving to the Kinder, but Bo seemed sluggish (burdened by a boisterous bucks night?). AvantiTrev seemed to back off the gas and SuperMario had legs under labour, many using this time for respiratory respite.   Darth Vader was in the dog house but there were a few gasps for the gravel surprise at Sellmans, into Boundary Rd the forecast headwind was thankfully absent.  Cate tore into a tenacious turn in River Rd, HBK needed tissues for his grizzles on the grind alongside me.  Jase, Nick, TrekTrev and FeltMat kept toughing out their turns (it never get easier, you just go faster Greg said) as River, Central Kialla and Mitchell soon passed.  Bo belted into Conrod straight possessed, stretching two lines into one long one, small gaps opening to Jase then Cate as others tucked in behind.  I played leapfrog to Jase's wheel, two deep breaths then a leap to Bo's, his fuse spluttering at the 400 metre mark (you can get blue pills to cure that early arrival problem Bo!) His look of disappointment as I bolted by was priceless, full steam out of the tow spiking all my Garmin graphs, but the chocolates dissolved the distress.

22/2

A thrash on McIntosh (egged on by Cate) stirred up the legs and lungs en-route to Wednesday's Couldabeens clan, it was populous maximus at the carpark with Car+Mel, Wozza, Chops, Kenworth, Pelly, Ralphy, Temple, BamBam, Nick, Lucy, TrekTrev, Bruce, Leah, Rocket, Nev, Boof, Bo and Kel ready to ride.

Scurrying south at 6, Weapon, FeltMat, Troy, Grumpy and Jed joined in, Leah's bucket o' nails (mechanical rattle) causing a slow and some confusion (Wozza, Chops, Troy, Grumpy and Jed cranking into the distance blissfully unaware).  Idling slowly to Sanctuary roundabout, the call of "all on" got the party started again but many were missing on the stocktake at the truck route. (maybe the recent vows of urban silence have suppressed the message?)  In the bunch of Kenworth, Pelly, Ralphy, BamBam, Cate, Temple, Car+Mel, Nick, Lucy, TrekTrev and FeltMat was an ideal size where we'd get several appearances at the front with enough drivers to recover between turns and make life easier on the reaction time.   BamBam had my wheel which would test my pairing but the following draft would be a bonus.  Bunch one were drawing into the distance but our bakers dozen seemed content with our velocity.  Into Channel Rd the odds of inheriting the lead role for the ChaCha shortened, Car+Mel unable to escape the driving duties to the Kinder.  BamBam hit the nitrous at Prentice Rd and I tucked into his tow, Lucy jumped early which served Temple the ideal lead out, Ralphy without enough road played second fiddle.. 

23/2

The ritual preparations, hydrations and ablutions dragged on Thursday morning, there'd be an 11 minute dash to reach the Turtle grid by 5:40.  With a minute to spare, I joined Temple, HBK, Cougar and AvantiTrev at the carpark, Kel and Bo (rattled by a rattle) arriving at the third stroke.   Temple and HBK did the first shift (Kensington roundabout scoring a speed censure), plenty of pace for me to Orrvale Rd beside HBK, then kinder to the Kinder beside AvantiTrev.  I had a brief spell in the draft while Bo, Kel and Temple towed the troupe to Boundary Rd, the endangered KillkennyPaul sighted southbound was enlisted in a caboose capacity as Temple and HBK incited insurgent inferences powering to One Tree Dam. I had another huff & puff beside HBK then the turns rolled turning into River Rd, AvantiTrev talking of a tempo truce (courting caboose kudos?)   Like squeezing Semtex, the accelerator was slowly and surreptitiously squeezed soon after (returning motion for the majority), the last kilometre of River Rd with HBK and 1200 metres of Central Kialla Rd bumping up my breathing.  Kel's concrete composure aboard the Giant is the benchmark,  rule #59 resonating in Mitchell Rd feeling the WNW'er as I spent quality time harassing HBK cresting Dave's dip.   Expectations brewed in Raftery Rd, only Temple, HBK, Bo and I swapping turns from Galbraiths gate suggested an early attack was off the agenda.  Luck would have Temple and Bo advance as HBK waved the white flag in Conrod straight, Temple hit the boost button as Bo lay in wait behind.   I drew a breath or two in the hope of picking up the pieces, Bo belted into the last dip, it took me 101 rpm to sneak past him for a win.

24/2
A southerly made windy work to reach the south of town,  Bruce, Nick, Cate, BamBam, Chops, Pelly, Ralphy, Trav, Nev, Pistol, Wozz, Weapon, Rocket, Lucy, FeltMat, Lenny, Boof, Grumpy and SuperMario assembling for the Friday 6am getaway.

Boof braved the headwind as FDC's filtered in from a puncture delayed early loop, Trav establishing the up line while Rocket rolled up from the rear ranks as his backstop.  I took the soft option of a tow, Ralphy ropeable losing Garmin satelite connection (interference from his magnetic personality?)   Lucy's looked luscious in Liquigas kit (and riding a Liquigas Cannondale, nailing Rule #18) but I was dissapointed there wasn't matching socks!  The serious business of stocktaking cyclists got underway, it haunts my hippocampus should I miss a name off the honour roll. A u-turning bike in River Rd joined in; Lost, one stray cat, needs vaccination and de-sexing, gone missing from the 51/Cat train, answers to the call of Godfather!

Pondering position on my promotion toward the peloton pointy end, I reckon I'd cracked the ChaCha code;  to berth in the first 10% of the left line at the grid almost guarantees a turn with recovery time before the Kinder (figures based on attendance and performance and are dependant on wind and market trends, seek advice from your consultant, terms and conditions apply, see in store for details) but back to the ride reality......  I'd finally arrived at the front with Choppy approaching the cypress trees and was on top of the 14 cog when "puncture" was called.  The halt found Nick pitstopped and on the receiving end of sledges as Nev set to change the tube, the later inflation by CO2 exploding the GP4000 sidewall (good to see many carrying a small square of canvas as a temporary fix). "Just a roll back to town" of course turned into a sprint at the ChaCha, the tempo temptation is just too strong.

Week 8      248 km                     YTD 1,944 km

Week 7: A marshmallow arse?

Post 384

11/2

Well, baste my quadriceps and sauté my gluteus maximus!, 24 degrees (75F) at 5:30 am was a steamy Saturday start, the roll south further humidified with a light shower from the heavens evaporating almost instantly from the hot tarmac.  Nightclubbers still staggered the streets as I found Jase and Cate then TatPaul, BassoDan and BigBill en route to the carpark where a cast bigger than Ben Hur had assembled (the recall to labour my limbic system). Deep breath......Boof, AvantiAndy, Hoges, BigMat, Jen, AvantiTrev, Trav, Wozz, Temple, Troy, BamBam, HBK, Cougar, Rocket, Bruce, new recruit Leah, Popgun, Pistol, Shorty, Nick, SuperMario, Lucy, The Godfather and Lenny, MeridaJohn and Clive  creating a Cat caboose (for a foreward to a feline fixture) and Beery who'd tacked on uninvited (Rule  #19 old chap!)  Temple had judiciously held back the rearmost 20 to form two controllable bunches rather than moving a manic mess, but inadvertently had created "chasers" and "the chased".   By grid position I had been berthed with "the chased" (Hoges, BigMat, TatMat, TatPaul, BassoDan, Trav, Cate, Troy, BamBam, Cougar, Beery, Popgun, BigBill and the tiny trailer of TomCats), a pronto push to Kensington gardens but settling into some form of rhythm and gaining FeltMat to our eastward effort.  Comfortably through the Wozza S bends (kindly swept of the loose gravel that VicRoads can't seem to move) that has haunted our smooth line through, then caution through the tyre thick stones littering Sellmans straight.  Stewing over the subtlety of wind direction seemed silly with the W-WSW'er at just 7-13 km/h , reaching the front to pair with FeltMat was to be a long solid slog I hadn't counted on (dedication to the kilometres has paid him dividends).  Beside BigMat in Old Dookie Rd was a shorter affair, daylight struggled to pierce the blanket of cloud but the piggery's pong stabbed the olfactories with a vengeance.  The drivers seemed hungry for speed over the intersections and round the corners, quite the rubber band effect for a bunch of 17 (what would it have been like with 38?)   Reaching the main eastern channel I got another turn in the drivers seat with FeltMat, then in Ford Rd with BigMat.  A complimentary comment (what did I have for breakfast?) from TatPaul eased my stifled gasps of recovery, the slow for Grahamvale Rd and its' roadworks traffic control the chance to capture composure. In Wanganui Rd BamBam bolted to the front at the transfer station, slimming the squad to single file, Jase struck the second blow to DECA where Hoges let loose a marathon turn.  I'd jumped to his wheel just as the fractures opened, and hung on to wait for his expiry.

Onward he pumped possessed, snatching gears as his legs faded, at 300 to go I gave it everything to get past, only for Troy, Trav and TatMat to hammer humiliation past me 50 metres later.  Pistol, Lenny, Boof and Lucy suddenly shot past on Mt.Wanganui's peak, the "chasers" had caught "the chased" (thanks I'm told to Rockets lengthy lead-out).   Insurance fraud, those on the up & up and doing what feels good kept tongues tattling, beer for Bo's birthday (we were well beyond the 16 degree rule) was my light globe moment for BigMat's attendance, I now dub him BeerMat in honour of his true allegiance.

13/2

Speissy, Sandy, Principal Skinner, RidleyCraig, Hommy, AvantiLeigh, Cate and Kate fronted Friars for the Monday Peace Train,  Kate reserving the rear seat (with 7 months off the bike) but wasn't sure why RidleyCraig took a tow too.

The weekends indulgences were compared with those circulating, Belly joined in at SPC, suffering sluggishness from excess weekend hydration.  13 degrees was a cool contrast to last week's heat, arm warmers suddenly standard uniform.  A cruisy tap around mostly idling in zone 2 and 3, Hommy's puncture at Central Kialla the ride's entertainment.   True to the Goat mantra, the ride wasn't a race.........till the end, I bumped up the tempo into Conrod straight which brought RidleyCraig to the front, but AvantiLeigh (with advantage youth) powered to the podium. This post ride chin wag and coffee habit is becoming addictive, Welsford St cafe the Goat trough of choice.

14/2

Rather inspiring to have a doubling of numbers turn up for Tuesday's turtles (Nick, AvantiTrev, TrekTrev, Temple, Shorty, FeltMat, Kel, Cate, Jase, Cougar and HBK), hoping it's a continuing trend though I'll bet winters chill sends most diving under doonas.  There were enough volunteers to form two lines and rotate the task of slicing the SSW'er, Cate and Kel putting class amongst the commoners.  Nick Temple and Kel were tough enough to grind into the Boundary Rd headwind (17-24 km/h), I'd been blessed with a berth at the back for a free tow to River Rd.  I was coping rather well beside FeltMat with the wind coming in at 10 o'clock, finding the need to ease off a bit to keep FeltMat's wheel level. Temple, TrekTrev and Shorty seemed to be emptying the tank on their turns while I had a bit in reserve, let's pull hard on the handbrake of assertiveness before my helmet gets too tight!  Peering through the roadside jungle of weeds we managed a clear passage across the highway, pressing on via Raftery Rd for the sweat and sprint sequel.  The planets had aligned at Arcadia Downs, here's me sitting sedately at 5th wheel, HBK boxed in and Nick, Temple and TrekTrev doing the work, just Jase behind me to watch for. Out of the first dip and onto the 600 metre plateau, the speed wound into the high 40's while I waited for the moment to pounce.  Confident with 300 metres to go, I arose from 3rd wheel on the 14 cog and, using the Rocket technique (chin over the front axle) stood on the gas to shake Jase off my wheel (no hope!).  Gritting teeth and dialling up the stubborn screw as Jase pulled out from my draft I had just enough to ease ahead for the chocolates.  I'm trying not to enjoy the post ride coffee and social sustenance 'cause I'll crave it going back to work next week, Grumpy's OTA, boat capers and Nev's birthday soaked up a lazy half hour before meandering home.

15/2

The dim image of a 5:30am bike commuter (wearing black and no lights) indicates she was dim in intelligence too, but the bright lights of Cate, Car+Mel were easily found on the way to Wednesday's Couldabeens lap.  AvantiTrev, Kel, Bruce, Trav, Lucy, Shorty, BamBam, FeltMat, Pelly, Kenworth, Nick, Rocket, Wozz, Pistol, Jen and Nev exited the carpark at 6, I took sympathy on Shorty piloting the pack partnerless south, sharing the toil to the roundabout, Trav setting a swift standard on leg 2 to match.  Peloton position seems to still haunt some, who would pull the short straw for the ChaCha sprint lead-out nobody knows. River Rd had a later sunrise but it was worth waiting for, 42 wheels working and many tongues tattling drowned out the sound of the truck and dog approaching behind, caboose lookouts might need a refresh on their job description?

Plenty of shift workers guaranteed only one turn for most, the ChaCha task turned up for Car+Mel and Cate to crank into Kinder corner, Lucy, Shorty and I to drag the pack to Prentice Rd. Shorty had the hard work to get round the turbocharged Lucy, I managed a brief burst beyond Prentice but was soon (again) swamped by the sultans of speed.

16/2

A few days in the big smoke was a magnet to ride the Beach Rd Mecca, fine misty rain the welcome mat at the Mordialloc start but a little damp didn't dampen my enthusiasm.  Gradually up to a  perky pace (helped by a 16 km/h SSE'er), I'd passed ones and twos northbound at Mentone, a few gradual ups and downs of elevation getting the ticker ticking.  Little rooster tails off the Michelin's wasn't ideal but the billiard table hot mix could turn an arse to marshmallow!  Confidence grew as the showers eased, passing plenty with only twos, threes and fours time trialling past (the aero helmets and full carbon disc wheels were a bit serious for suburbia)

There were plenty of serious commuters (backpacks with a change of kit for work) and several massive bunches (50+) southbound, the smell of sea air and sights of a million city lights makes a change from channels and orchards ad nauseum.  Brighton, Elwood and Middle Park passed by inheriting a couple of soloists on my wheel, traffic was building for the 7am starters but were most co operative with the metre matters.  Up to Port Melbourne then a u-turn with the breeze to battle back,  I took a moment to souvenir a snap or two then set about a determined drive south, collecting BrightonBarryBianchi to tow for a suburb or three (regrets selling his titanium steed).  The big bunches had thinned (they were mostly now northbound) but caught and passed a few threes and fours, the neverending traffic lights were mostly green but the red ones made it interval training. Eventually back to the Mordialloc pier for a caffeine chaser, the 171 Strava trophies was a surprise bonus!


17/2
When you're on a good thing........  I had a repeat of Thursday's ride (can't get enough!) in better weather Friday but minus the wind assistance toward Melbourne's centre.  The rise and fall to Sandringham knocked the wind from my sails (and lungs), it was off the seat for this flatlander to feel worthy (me thinks there'll be no avalanche of trophies today). A few waves of commuting cars vacuumed me a bit of pace while trying to divert attention from the luscious lycra jogging demographic beachside.  Big bunches bolted south with northbound bikes rare, a solo workout more inspiring than slothful soaking up a tow.  Nearing Elwood, bunches were forming in the side streets, I'd joined the Docklands Tridents for a short spell till fewer traffic lights allowed a safe pass.  The squirt to St.Kilda had more distractions (Porsche GT3, Lotus Exige and a Diablo) but I pressed on to Station Pier before a turnabout for the trip back. Through the titilatingly titled Strava segments ('Cerberus lung buster',  'Go Go juice', 'EOS pimple' and 'Late for my wedding at Brighton Savoy') progress was pleasing even though I'd been passed by several others, Rule #38 needs to resonate often to keep the helmet size consistent.  Pushing harder jellied the legs which embarrased any effort uphill but I reached the Mordialloc finish  (driven by the coffee craving) pleased with a small handful of trophies for the effort (a paltry 123)

Week 7    267km                      YTD 1,696km